Valentine's Chili
by PreciousAngel16
Summary: Kensi never really liked Valentine's Day. Could this year be different? Who is making her change her mind about this day full of Love? What could go wrong? Densi in future chapters. R&R )
1. Valentine's Day

_**A/N: Hey guys! This is something that has been in my mind all months, so I finally decided to write it on paper. I know it's not fitting to the season or the weather outside, but I just wanted to write something with love- so that's why it's a Valentine's Day story(at least for now).  
The **Chili **in the title has nothing to do with the first chapter. But since this is getting **chili** soon, its name is Valentine's Chili. ^^  
**__**I don't know how long this is gonna be, but I hope you'll like it!**_

_**Summery: Kensi never really liked Valentine's Day. could this year be different? Who is making her change her mind about this day full of Love?  
Rating: T  
words: 1,745  
Pairing: Kensi/Deeks  
Disclaimer: disclaimed.  
Special thanks to: My beta ****Mike91848 :)**_

_**Enjoy! :)**_

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_**Valentine's Chili  
**_

Before today, Kensi never really considered _Valentine's Day _as something important. She experienced it a few times in the past, getting chocolate, fabric hearts and flowers from Jack, but it was just not _her_. In the seven years after he left her, she decided to invent a tradition- much like the one she has on Christmas. She would just avoid the crowded malls or the extremely happy public because the flowers and the _love _made her sick.

On February 14th 2013, the day began as normal as always. She woke up at six sharp and drank her first cup of coffee in the kitchen, the donut firmly in her hand. On Valentine's days she would have a double portion of them, just to keep her happy. After she took a long shower, she went to work, always accompanied with the thought of seeing Deeks on this day- a day on which he would be more chipper than usual. When she entered the slightly hidden NCIS building, she spotted Hetty immediately. The small women was always first at work, even before Callen would show up. After smiling at her boss, Kensi made her way over to her desk. The large amount of paperwork struck her and she sat down sluggish. Seeing how much work she would have to do, her mood went from bad to much worse and she unenthusiastically grabbed her pen.

Fifteen minutes after that, she could hear her partner coming into work rather bored. He threw his bad into the corner right before the couch, sat down and put his head on his folded arms. Before Kensi could ask him, how he was doing, Sam and Callen came in, laughing over something that could only be discarded as _so not funny. _

"What's going on with him?" Sam asked.

Kensi just shook her shoulders and the three of them waited for an answer.

"Today's Valentine's Day," could be heard muffled.

"And?" Kensi dug deeper. After all, she wanted to know what was keeping him from being his charming, chipper self.

Callen asked, "Don't you have a Valentine's Bunny or something?"

"Well, I do have one. She just doesn't know that she has _me." _And with that Deeks was back to his old self. He raised his head, grinned at his colleagues and emphasised the _me _part with a hand gesture from the top of his head down.

Kensi snorted. "Yeah, like some woman would want to have that."

"Baby, _you _know you want it!"

While Callen and Sam just smirked and started working, Kensi rolled her eyes and thought about her partner. If she was being honest, there was a small part in herself that actually wanted the whole Deeks. Just not on Valentine's Day.

She wondered when she changed her mind about the platonic friendship. In the last few days, after his birthday that she had mistaken for a week later than it actually was, she found herself thinking much more about the shaggy haired man.

He was everything she searched for; in many ways. He could bring her to laugh, make her smile and every time he did something stupid, she couldn't just be mad at him for forever. He completed her in a way she wouldn't imagine someone could do that.

But even if she admitted it to herself, that there was in fact a _thing_, she could not say that out loud. That would make Deeks dancing the _I-told-you-so _dance, it would boost his ego on cloud nine and Kensi wouldn't accept that.

"Hey partner, are you still there? Look who's here!" She could hear his voice through some clouded thoughts and looked up slowly. Before her stood the mail carrier, a letter and a small box in his hands.

"Delivery for Kensi Blye?"

"Yeah, that's me." The mailman nodded, laid both items out on the table and handed her a small clipboard for her to sign.

"Thanks," she said and smiled at the man.

"Have a good Valentine's Day, Ma'am," he told her before leaving. She just rolled her eyes at his Valentine's Day parting comment.

"Why is it that everyone is so happy about this day? I don't understand it. It's all chocolate and love and happy kissing around, which I consider lousy," she argued and waited for her colleagues to answer.

"You want to be kissed?" Deeks asked and her eyes widened.

"What? No! I never said that."

"But you implied it."

"No, I didn't!"

"Did too!"

"No, Deeks. Let it go. If I wanted to be kissed, I would go out."

"I could always do it. You know, kiss you. It would be like the kiss we shared on our undercover assignment, you know, when we were Melissa and Justin. House-sitting for your uncle."

She could feel the surprised looks of Callen and Sam and looked up a little flushed. "That was an undercover assignment, like you said. It was to maintain cover, okay? Who would want to be kissed by you anyway?"

"Are you seriously doubting _this_?" Again the gesture over his body. She just shrugged; feeling exhausted by explaining to him for the thousandth time that it was just an undercover kiss.

She grabbed the letter and turned it around in her hands.

"And? Who is the letter from?" Deeks stood up and walked over to her desk.

"I don't know, Deeks. I haven't opened it yet!" and again she rolled her eyes. Inside she wondered from who the letter could be from. She saw the impatient look on Deeks' face and said, "Deeks, this letter is for me. So I have no intentions of telling you something about it, okay?"

He pouted a little but he remained where he stood.

"Open it." She heard Callen say and asked herself what side he took- Deeks' or hers.  
"Okay, okay. But it's mine, okay? I will not tell you anything about it!" The guys nodded and she opened the letter.

She unfolded it and read the neatly written words:

_Dinner. Tonight, 7 p.m. at Valentino's, Santa Monica. Be on time!  
x, your secret admirer_

"Wow. That's… wow…" Kensi murmured and stared at the paper.

"What is it? Do you really want to not tell us about it?" Sam asked and looked up for what felt like the first time.

"Do I have a choice? Do you know _Valentino's _in Santa Monica?"

"Yeah, dinner for like forty dollars for one person. Why?"

"I'm invited for Valentine's Dinner…"

"Seriously? Who's that guy?" Deeks asked not believing what he heard.

Kensi just smiled and said, "I don't know. He's probably well educated, rich, wears expensive suits and dark, polished Italian shoes. Very handsome."

"You talking about me there, princess?"

"Never. You are the opposite."

"You wounded me there, Fern!" For the third time in a few minutes, Kensi rolled her eyes.

She tucked away the letter and took the box in her hands. Standing up, she got out her knife and opened the tape on the top. What she saw in the box was completely mixing up her mind. A dress. A simple, beautiful, black dress. She lifted it out of the box by the straps and showed it to the guys.

"Wow. I really want to know who the guy is… Are you going?" asked Callen and smiled at her.

"I don't know. I mean I really have no clue as to who this guy is… What if he's a pervert?"

"Just be careful," came Deeks' response and he sat down on his desk.

For the rest of the day, everyone except Kensi and Deeks worked a lot.

Kensi was debating if whether she should go on her date or not while Deeks was in deep thought too, thinking about his dark haired partner and her evening plans.

#

It was 7:01 when Kensi went into the restaurant where she was going to meet her secret admirer. She had spent almost two hours getting ready for this and even left work earlier than usual. If she was feeling anything at all, it was nervousness. She never had blind dates, not even when she was younger. She wondered who the guy could be or if someone just set her up.

The lady at the entrance smiled at her and said, "Happy Valentine's Day. You must be Kensi."

Kensi moved an eyebrow. 'What is going on here? Why does she know my name?' she asked herself.

The woman led her to the table and the agent noticed, that all the others were covered up with the usual restaurant items, but not one was occupied by happy couples.

"He will be with you shortly. Can I get you something to drink?"

Kensi ordered a water and observed her surroundings. The walls were painted in a deep red with some profound quotes every now and then. She could hear slow music coming out of speakers and smell something delicious being cooked in the kitchen. Her excitement grew with every second she had to wait for her secret Valentine.

When the waitress came back with her water, Kensi asked, "Can you tell me something about him?"

She didn't mind at all that it sounded a little crazy- having a date with someone you didn't know.

The women just smiled and said, "I'm sorry, but he told me not to give you any clues…"

Kensi only nodded and took out her phone. She sent a quick message to Deeks, who had asked her to be kept up to date.

_Okay, this is seriously wrong. There's just one waitress in the restaurant and she's not telling me anything… Any thoughts? K._

Seconds later her phone vibrated and signalled an answer from her partner.

_Nope, sorry. If you're feeling uncomfortable should I come get you? XO D._

She smiled a bit at his caring manners.

_No, I'm good._ She typed back. _I'll wait a few more minutes. If something is happening, you'll be the first one to know. K._

_Thanks, Kens. Have fun and I want to know everything! XO D._

She rolled her eyes. Sometimes he was being a girl, wanting to know everything just to babble it out at some point.

_Quit being so girly. And leave me alone. K._

_^^ will do. XO D._

She put her phone away, took a sip of her water and waited. And waited. And waited.

Then, suddenly the door opened and she turned around.

Who she saw completely knocked her out off her perch…

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**A/N#2: Any thoughts on who is standing there? Please leave me a review for your suggestions! :) **


	2. The date

_**A/N: Hey guys! It's me again. I know you all wanted me to continue and considering that tomorrow is my Mom's birthday, I decided to upload this today ;)**_

**_I hope you are not disapointed that it is in fact not ... but ... so yeah. ^^_**

**_Stick to me! This could seriously work out somehow. I got some ideas in my head- they just need to be written down._**

**_Leave reviews cause they make me write! ;)_**

**_Enjoy!_**

**_PA15_**

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**Valentine's Day****  
**_**  
**_

**Previously on Valentine's Day:**

_Then, suddenly the door opened and she turned around.  
Who she saw completely knocked her out off her perch… _

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kensi rose out of her seat, staring at the man in front of her.

"I just wanted to see you, Kens," he answered and walked closer. They were barely standing one foot away from each other and she could smell his cologne. She missed it so much in the last seven years that she almost reached out to him, just to hold him and let it be like in those days.

"You look so beautiful tonight, Kensi. I knew that dress would fit you," He whispered and took a hold of her hand.

That was enough for the tough Special Agent. She withdraw her hand from his and stared at him in complete disbelieve. "How could you?! What the HELL is wrong with you? Are you trying to win me back? You completely missed your chance, seven years ago, when you left me on Christmas! Can you imagine, what I went through, Jack?"  
she almost spit the words at him and she had no intention to be gentle with him.

She practised those words in the last years more than she learned for her exams in school. She imagined his face, the stubble on his chin longer than in 2005 and the hair slightly darker when she threw words at him that told every little detail of her feelings.

"Kensi, I'm sorry." Jack said and he hold his hands out for her to take.

_Like hell you are!, _she told herself. She seriously doubted that he meant what he said.  
What man leaves his fiancée on Christmas?

"What made you go away?" she finally asked. The question was bugging her the entire time, clouding her mind when ever she thought about the long lost love.

"It was just… work. It was so hard, coming back to you from where I was," he said and looked on the ground.

"I helped you. I tried everything to give you the love you deserved. Can you imagine what It felt like to be rejected from your own fiancé?"

"This is not about the past, Kensi." His eyes darkened and his brow wrinkled in anger.

"Oh it is, Jack, it is! Were you seriously thinking I would wait for you to come back? No one wastes time like that!" she argued and wound her hand through her hair. This conversation with her ex-fiancé was completely throwing her of her game. She just wanted to have dinner on Valentine's Day with her secret date. Who was Jack. And that felt not right, that was wrong. Maybe she even wished it was Deeks, here with her, holding her hand over the table and uttering how beautiful she looked.

_That's bull, Kensi. Although there is a thing, he does not want to spend his day with me. I bet he has a Valentine's bunny in his bed, warming him from behind. Just accept it- you will never be that bunny!  
_  
"What are you thinking about?" his voice reached her and stopped her from day dreaming.

"Definitely not about you, Jack." Okay, that hurt him. She could see it in his eyes and if she was being honest to herself- she didn't care! He needed to know what it was like to be the one in pain and in that restaurant, on the most loving day in the year, it was not her feeling rejection, suffering from something that was in the past.

"What have I done to you? Why are you so… mean?"

_Oh my god, is he seriously asking this?! _

"Jack, just think about something here, try to understand me on this. It's been seven years since we last saw each other. For one year I have waited for you to come back. I stayed in _our _house for 365 days, leaving a spare key under the flower pot on the stairs. I called everyone you knew, asking for answers and hoping that some one could tell me where you are, how you are doing of if you're coming back. No one could tell me something and I lost hope with every passing day. I had depressions and I was trying to understand why you left. I asked myself what it was that made you go away. Why you left me there, hanging and _waiting_. But you never came back. Not a phone call, not a letter, _nothing._ And now you are back, thinking that I still love you! Maybe I moved on? Have you ever thought about that?" she took a deep breath after laying out her heart in front of Jack, the man that broke it so hard. She felt the tears prickling down on her cheek, leaving a hurting path behind and she didn't care if he saw them. Tonight, she wasn't the tough kick-ass Agent Kensi Blye, she simply was Kensi, a girl that had already lost so many people in her life.

"Okay, what should I do to make us forget the whole thing?"

Her patience with the man became less and less with every shitty thing he said and she felt the head and heart ache getting bigger. She had to leave. This was making her feel nauseous, her head spinning from time to time.

"Nothing you can do will change how I feel about you," she whispered and turned away from him. She grabbed her purse, slipping into the feather light jacket she had taken with her, because she didn't know how the night would end.

With one last glance at her ex fiancé she left the restaurant, felling pity and the need to cry. She was glad that her car was pared directly in front of the restaurant because she wouldn't take the look of the pedestrian when they saw a crying woman on Valentine's Day.

When she opened her car, she sniffled and tried to wipe away the streaks of tears on her cheek. She heard the door of _Valentino's _opening but she didn't turn around.

"You stupid little asshole! Can you not just leave me alone? Haven't you understand that I don't want you in my life anymore! You destroyed my whole life and you know what? Because I felt like I failed my attempts of getting you back to me, I became a Federal Agent. Yes, you heard right. I'm a Special Agent now, I carry a gun. And I would really much like to use it right now. Because you know what? You don't deserve to life! You should have died in the desert and I would have had a better life! And do you want to know something else? I was pregnant, with your child and the way you treated me, the way you 'hit the ground' was the reason why I lost this baby." There she said it. She never told this to anyone else and if she was being honest to herself, she felt better after letting everything out of herself, after finally saying how she felt.

"You were pregnant? With… my child?"

"Of curse it was your baby! I never cheated on you and I never thought of doing that! I love you, Jack. And if you love someone, you stick to them and you don't do stupid things! I'm so sad that I lost her and that I… That you…" she took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. "that I never met her to just say that I love her. But the whole other disasters like you coming back and _leaving _us I'm not sorry about at all. If it wasn't for you, I would be a different person. I wouldn't be the woman I am now, I wouldn't have the family I have." _I wouldn't have Deeks, _she quietly added to herself.

"You have a family? Are you _married?_" his eyes were getting smaller and he had that angry look on his face again.

"Yes and no. Yes, I have a family- my colleagues are my family, they stick to me whenever I need them. And no, I'm not married. I never was and I probably never will be. But that is not your business, Jack. Leave me alone. I never wanted to see you again."

"You don't mean that. You never really stopped loving me, Kensi. Everything you just said, its not true at all."

"Yes it is. I hate you!", she cried and walked two steps closer to him. "You listen to me now. Everything I said tonight is the truth. You hurt me and I will never forgive you, not in the time I live. I'm happy with the family I have and with my life and you? You aren't a part of it!"

The second she said that, his hands grabbed her arms forcefully. "Let me go, Jack."

"You don't mean that, Kensi. Apologize to me."

"No. Let go!" she struggled to get herself free. Normally, she would have kicked a guy in his crown jewels by now but Jack? She felt weak tonight and he was stronger than she was in her state of mind.

He backed her up against her car, hard and brutal, and her ribs came in contact with the exterior mirror.

"Jack, please…" she pleaded and hissed at the pain shooting through her ribs.

"You do not say something like that to me, understood? If you ever…" He sucked in his breath and loosened his grip on her arms. He lent down his head and whispered in her ear, "See you soon, beautiful."

She bit her inner cheek, barely resisting the urge to shoot him. "If you come near me ever again, Jack Sullivan, I will arrest you."

"I don't think you will. Just be careful and take care of yourself, Kens." And with that, he kissed her on the cheek and she almost threw up on herself.

As she watched him go away, she took deep breaths. _What am I going to do if he's coming back?!  
_

She really didn't want to think about the possibility of his coming back so she went home, always checking if someone was following her and making sure that she drove an extra long detour to her flat.

When she arrived, she went to bed almost immediately, even if it was only eight. The meeting with her ex-fiancé exhausted her and she just wanted to hide in the darkness…

The next morning she was the last at work. She hadn't slept all night and spent at least 30 minutes in the shower, the cold water running down her spine made her forgot the things that happened the night before. At least, for a small amount of time she completely forgot Jack.

"There she is! My partner! How was it? Did you get laid?" Deeks asked and she threw him a glare. She could hear Callen and Sam snickering from their places, but she ignored them. _They should try meeting a possessive ex-fiancée who is trying to apologize for breaking their hearts…! _

"Fuck off, buddy," she muttered and sat down on her chair.

"Uh uh, trouble in paradise! What happened? Was it Charlie, the stinking Agent from the other team?"

"No, it was nobody from here. And you know what? This is not your business. Leave it alone."

"Okay. I'm sorry. But sooner or later, you're gonna tell me!"

_Probably not, _Kensi told herself. She would only worry her partner and if she told him Jack's exact words, Deeks would go to the ends of the world just to hunt him down and tell him what a jerk the ex-marine was. She really didn't want to have that encounter for 'her' two men…

The next hours went by slowly. Kensi couldn't focus on her case files and even if she knew her colleagues noticed it, she didn't care. She packed up her things at five sharp and bid her team mates goodbye. She knew Deeks was worrying, because she was quiet all day and if he wasn't, she would be surprised. She really cared for him and she didn't want for him to rack his brains about something she could handle herself. At least, she thought so.

She left the mission with the looks of Deeks, Callen and Sam boring into her back. It felt wrong to not tell them about Jack, but at the same time, if felt _right._

When she reached her car, she saw the small, elongated package laying on her front hood of her SRX. She looked around the parking lot, trying to see who left it there and she had a vague idea.

She opened the package and spotted a white lily, her favourite flower. Her breath stopped when she read the note attached to the good smelling object.

_Guess who's watching you, Fern? Or wait, is that nickname just for you shaggy haired partner? You should know that he is not that loyal to you as you think he is. Be careful.  
One day, we'll be back together. I can see it.  
Jack_

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_**A/N#2: Oookay, now you now who the secret "admirer" was. ;) **_

_**Please let me know if you're happy, unhappy or completely dissapointed with the outcome of the date...**_

_**PA15 **_

_**PS: Don't worry, there will be Densi soon! **_


	3. Confrontation

_**Valentine's Day**_

_**A/N: Hey guys! Here you go with chapter three, Confrontation and some Densi. I hope you like it! Please leave a review and tell me what you want to see happen next! ;)**_

_**This could/ is getting slightly OOC in the future chapters. I hope you don't mind that at all...?**_

**There's a little spoiler scene for the upcoming chapter at the end of this one. Read it and let me know what you think of it!**

_**Enjoy!  
PA15**_

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_**Previously on Valentine's Day:**_

_Guess who's watching you, Fern? Or wait; is that nickname just for your shaggy haired partner? You should know that he is not that loyal to you as you think he is. Be careful._

_One day, we'll be back together. I can see it.  
Jack_

Kensi couldn't forget his words. They were etched into her memory and she was sure that she would never forget them. They completely threw her off her game and she was getting sidetracked more often- especially at work. There was a constant question in her head: _How the heck did he know of her nickname __**Fern**__? _It meant that he had somehow heard some conversations she had with Deeks. How the heck did _How _

The last few days had been exhausting and every day she felt herself slipping more and more into the grip of her weariness and its ability to cloud her thinking_._ And with it she declared that she was practically waiting for Jack to do something. She was feeling a certain amount of expectancy and that thought alone made her sick. She couldn't understand her mind, her thinking. Why would she wait for something to happen? Because she wanted the pressure to be taken off of her shoulders? To get the confrontation over with? Probably.

What else she felt was her colleagues' worry and their need to know some details; about why she was acting differently. Especially with her partner, she got the looks and the silent questions. Deeks has always wanted to know _everything, _but Kensi wanted to keep this whole Jack-thing to herself, since it kind of involved her partner too. She was glad that Deeks didn't press for answers like he normally would do and she kind of wondered why he wasn't doing it. He usually was all about getting answers, on _everything. _His constant pressing was annoying and at the same time it was something she loved about him.

_Huh? Love? Where did that come from?_ The word love put a new meaning on everything. Ever since that case with his wannabe female thief something had changed inside her. She had experienced some new feelings, which she had thought were long gone. The days before Jack had returned, she had tried to ignore her feelings and she succeeded, occasionally, but nevertheless they all came back when the image of _them _kissing in the car _and _the safe house popped up in her mind. She had admitted it to herself a few times: She really was jealous. This word was something that was never ever found in her vocabulary and Monica really pissed Kensi off. She never imagined that this woman, so unprofessional and uneducated, would be Deeks' type. But, he had declared her his type on their undercover job in the bar.

And there she lay, on a Friday morning with the alarm clock ringing in her ear. She didn't care. All she wanted to do was lay there and sleep. Because that was the last thing she did this night, or tried to. Her mind was clouded with Deeks and Jack and the possible outcome with her ex-fiancé. She just wanted to forget everything but she couldn't. The only thing that was keeping her from thinking about both men at the same time was the thought of _doughnuts _for breakfast. And with that she got herself out of bed and made her way to the bathroom to shower. While she was in there she felt as if she was being watched and it made her worry. "Shut it, Kens. You're just being paranoid… there's nobody in your apartment and no one's installed any cameras." She told herself over and over again but she couldn't shake away the feeling.

When she came out of the shower, dressed in only a towel slung carelessly over her body, she didn't think there would be someone watching her. Someone being in her _home. _But there was.

"Oh my god! What are you doing here?" she cried as soon as she saw him and grabbed the towel a little bit tighter.

"Uhm… nothing. Just… hanging 'round."

She furrowed her brow and muttered, "Yeah but you do realise that this is _my _apartment and _my _living room you're standing in."

"So?" he grinned. "I'm sorry to show up just like this. I know I should have called or talked to you about first."

"Damn right you should have, Deeks! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

He sat down on the couch and got a few things out of a brownish bag. "You would have died of a heart attack at least three different times in the last few days if I really scared you that much. What's wrong with you? You're so… jumpy." He shrugged his shoulders at his not knowing the best word to describe his partner.

"Nothing." She answered simply. She didn't want to talk about this on a Friday morning. She didn't want to talk about this at all.

"But we're good?" he asked. There was that question again. She already had to go through it in the armoury yesterday.

"I told you, we are. There's nothing going on. Really, trust me on this."

"I trust you with everything, Kens. _Everything._ But that doesn't mean that I don't know when you're lying. Or that I can't worry. I'm allowed to do this. Now sit and eat that doughnut I brought for you."

She sighed. "Listen Deeks. There's… there's some serious change going on in my life." _Keep it as informal and secretive as possible._ "I'll tell you as soon as I'm ready. And please, can I at least change before I sit down and eat?"

He had a certain smug look on his face and she rolled her eyes. If she hadn't gone into her bedroom to change, he would have replied with a "Nope. You sit down in a towel, across from me, lean over the table and reach for the doughnut." And she would have hit him square in the face- if he hadn't been that far away.

She had to smile to herself while dressing. Their constant banter had already become a big part of her life and she really liked it. It made the day easier and there was less pain between dead bodies, drugs and suspects she had to chase while in short dresses.

"Sugar bear? You still there?" she heard from the living room.

"Call me that again and you're dead!" she answered and walked out of her room, sending a glare at her partner.

"You wouldn't kill me, like ever. You love me too much to do that."

"Like I like _that!_" she waved her hand roughly in the direction of some of his body parts and grinned.

"Who doesn't? This is all natural, especially my hair and the abs." He pointed a finger at his chest and ran a hand through his hair.

"Please, I really don't want to think about this. I'd really like to eat my doughnut now, Deeks."

He nodded and went back to watching some ridiculous morning TV, all the while sipping his coffee and moaning at the taste of it.

"Can you stop the whole moaning thing? It's disturbing…" she muttered under her breath and chewed on the doughnut with a lot of chocolate- her favourite.

"I'm sorry, but this is soooo delicious!"

She just rolled her eyes and took the cup he was holding out to her. She tried it and said, "Oh god, where did you get that from? This is like miles better than the coffee stand we have near OSP-centre…"

"Yeah, I know! That's why I bought it!"

She just wanted to answer with something funny when her doorbell rang. She stood up and walked slowly to the door, trying to remember the shape of the person standing outside. She opened the door a small amount and asked; "Yes?"

"I got a delivery. Ms Blye?"

"Yeah that's me." She muttered. Immediately she remembered a similar conversation and she got scared. Deeks must have seen her tensing because he had crossed the room within seconds and was suddenly standing behind her.

"Everything alright?" he silently asked and she only nodded.

She took the small, long packet, signed the paper the man on her doorstep gave her and finally closed the door. She turned around to Deeks and took a deep breath.

"This like a déjà-vu for you?" he asked and grinned.

"Yeah. But it's not a good one so wipe that smile off your face!" She told him and walked to her couch. Unsure of herself and of the packet, she sat down and lightly loosened the ribbon on the parcel.

"What's inside the box?" she heard Deeks' voice in her ears. It sounded like it was far away. With a quick look into the mysterious packet she held in her lap, her vision blurred.

"Oh god… It's… no, please…" she whispered and the tears spread in her eyes.

"Kens? What is it? Are you okay?"

She shook her head no and stood up. "No, this cannot happen! How does he do this? Why? That's… Deeks…"

"Hey, it's going to be okay… Kens, you hear me? We'll help you, whatever this is about. The team is going to be there. I'll be there." He gently said and walked closer. He didn't dare to take a look at the parcel, not until he had her in his arms. She was destroyed and scared and he really wanted to know why. But at this moment his only priority was for her to not hyperventilate and calm down. And if that meant hugging her and holding her close, just to let her feel save safe, then who was he to withhold?  
He walked closer step by step, hoping not to scare her too and when he finally reached her, he slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards himself.

"It's okay…" he murmured and his breath hitched as he heard her sniffle.

"No it's not. I shouldn't have gone to that date with him…"

"Kens, if he's stalking you, I can do something about it. You told me you didn't want anything to do with him ever again. If I tell him that too, he'll let it go and won't bother you anymore."

_How can he think that this is some sort of stalking? Well, actually it is, but this is different. This is just wrong._

"It's not about stalking. At least not entirely… Look I… I gotta tell you something, but please, I want to get out of here."

"Okay, I can do that. You will tell me on the way to OSP?"

"Yeah. We should take the package with us…" she gently pried herself away from him, but her left hand stayed in his and she avoided looking at the so called present.

"Why?"

"I can't… Just…" she couldn't bring herself to tell him what actually was in it. "Just look…"

He never loosened his grip on her hand and rather tightened it as he took a look at the content.

"Oh my god… Whose is that?"

"My Dad's" she whispered. And even just the thought of her father sent the image into her mind again.

Inside the red box with the green ribbon, ironically like a present for Christmas, lay a photo of Deeks with a thumbtack in the middle of his forehead and the ring finger of her dead father…

#

When they entered the building, all it took for Kensi not to break down was her partner who was still holding her hand. This was intimate and if it wasn't for her condition, she would let her hand definitely NOT be in his, but considering the shock she had experienced, she allowed him to give her some comfort.

"Guys? Do you want to tell us something?" Callen asked when he saw the partners holding hands.

"Yeah. Like you're going to tell us _why_ Kensi got a picture of me being stabbed by a thumbtack, beside it laying a finger of her dead…" he stopped as he remembered Kensi standing right next to him.

"It's okay…" she whispered.

"Her dead father." He continued and laid the package down on Sam's table. The older agent wanted to reach for it but Deeks stopped him. "You should wear a pair of gloves…"

Sam nodded, did as he was told and opened the package. "When did this come?"

"This morning." Deeks answered when Kensi couldn't. She just leaned against her partner's side, trying not to look at the contents and calming her nerves. He squeezed her hand and looked at her. "You want to tell us who that is from?"

"It's from Jack… I really shouldn't be telling you guys this. It will only mean danger to you…"

"Kensi, you don't make any sense." Deeks said silently.

"It is from Jack. The whole disaster is just because of him. He wanted to see me again and explain everything, apologize and all. I didn't let him. He hurt me; he sent me a flower and this package. And he threatened to do something to you, Deeks! That's why I hid this from you guys. I only want what's best for you…"

Reading between the lines told Callen and Sam that she didn't mean _you _as in the team but as in _Deeks_. They could see how much she cared for her partner. It was good that she finally had a man she could think of, a man that made her do fewer dangerous things than before she knew him.

"We'll be looking into this. Deeks, you take her home."

"But we only just got here!" Kensi protested and swayed a little bit. "I want to help."

"No, Kens. You can barely stand alone without me helping you."

The look on her face clearly told the guys that she wanted to try and show them that she in fact _could stand_ without his help.

"Don't do it. You don't have to prove anything." Callen said sternly and walked over to Sam and the package. He took a look at it and turned around to the other partners. "We're going to talk to Nell, Eric and Forensics. Maybe they can find some prints of this finger in the data base and check if it's really…"

"It is my dad. I know it. The ring… It's my parent's wedding band. I'd recognize it _anywhere._"

"It's okay, Ms Blye. We just want to check it. It's normal procedure. Mr Deeks, please take her home now." Said Hetty from out of nowhere. Kensi expected some kind of comment from her partner because of the sudden appearance of their boss but there wasn't anything.

Out of the corner of her eyes she saw him nodding and he gently led her to the exit.

"It's not fair to go since we just came…" she muttered under her breath and loosened her grip on his hand. Even if she liked it, there was no need for the whole OSP centre to think something that was not right.

"It's better for you, Kens. You're in a complete tizzy!"

"Yeah I now. But…"

"No buts, Kens. We're going to my place and we're going to sleep. At least you are. Cause I know you didn't get much sleep last night, I can see it in your eyes."

She just nodded. She felt anxious about being with him for the day. There was something that was scaring her just at the thought of being alone in her apartment, the same one where Jack had probably been before.

"Hop in." Deeks told her when they got to his car. She climbed in and within minutes they were at his place since it was closer to OSP than hers.

He opened the door for her and they went straight to the bedroom. He gave her some jogging trousers to wear and a loose shirt and she couldn't help herself, she brought the shirt up and held it to her face - it smelled like him. Like salt, ocean and the sun.

"You take the right side." He whispered to her and immediately she had a flashback to their last undercover job.

"Thanks…" she whispered and they lay down. "For everything. Not just the right side."

"It's okay. Just try to sleep, Kens." He whispered and slipped closer to her. Her back was to him and he practically spooned her when he heard her whisper "I just want to forget him, Deeks… Please, make me forget him…"

"It's okay… I got you."

And minutes later he felt her roll over to face him, felt her hands on his chest and her head in the crook of his neck. Hearing her sniffled and the quiet whimpers made his heart crumple. "Just sleep, Kens." He whispered again and smoothed her hair.

When the small painful noises she made became less frequent and softer then finally stopped, he listened to her shallow and smooth breathing, only then he closed his eyes and allowed sleep to overtake him.

* * *

**_Did you like it? Hate it? Was it okay? Please let me now! _**

**_Little teaser on the next chapter:_**

_[...] So do you understand that you are the most important and stable thing in my life?" she asked breathlessly and in the next moment the shower curtain was opened on the side and Deeks' blond mop came out. _

_"Can you give me a towel, please?"_

_"Seriously? We're having like the most important talk in our lifes and you want a towel?"_

_He grinned. "Yeah I do. If you want to see me in all glory, then hell; forget the towel!" He grabbed the shower curtain and made a gesture as to open him fully. [...]_

**_shower scene!_**_  
_


	4. Talking

**_Hey guys! So since today is Sunday, here's a new chapter! ;) I hope you all enjoy it and leave me a review? _**

**_*placing cookies and milk on the table* _**

**_Disclaimed! (I forgot to add that in the last two chapters... Sorry!) _**

**_PA15_**

* * *

**Valentine's Day**

After three hours of restful sleep, Kensi woke up. She enjoyed being in Deeks' arms and listening to his quiet breathing, which was a sign that at least he was okay. She watched him for a few long moments, and lost in thought, she gently ran her fingers over his chest to feel his warmth. She loved being here, laying secure and safe in his arms, and never wanting to leave again.

"What're you thinking 'bout?" she heard him ask.

"Nothing. Just enjoying the moment."

She felt him smile and pressed herself against his right side. "So what do you want to do with the rest of the day?"

"Don't tell me you're giving me a break from all of this. I know you're dying to know something more than what I told you and the guys."

"Yeah, that's right. But I want you to tell me at your own pace. I should press for information."

"You're always pressing." She pointed out and had to smile a bit. When she tilted her head to look up at him, he wore a serious expression. "What's wrong, Deeks?"

"It's just that… I always press because you wouldn't tell me anything if I didn't. I'm trying something here; trying to get you to open up without me pressing. And if I'm correct, this is probably not going to work. You have to work with me on this."

_He's hurt, _Kensi noted. _And it's your damn fault, Kensi Marie Blye! _

"Deeks, listen… I'm sorry. You know how I am but I'm trying piece by piece. God knows I'm trying! But this is all so… confusing and mixed up. Trust me; I really want to tell you about me and my… secrets." She stumbled a bit over the last word.

"It's okay. I'm just your partner. You don't have to tell me anything." And that's the moment were _he _closed up on her. He loosened his grip on Kensi and rolled to the other side to get out of the bed.

"No, mister! You're not going anywhere until we solve this!"

"There's nothing to solve, Kensi. Everything's fine! Remember; I'm good if you're good, which you clearly are considering that you don't have to tell me anything."

_Like hell I am! So not fine and you're not either! _Kensi wanted to scream at him but she couldn't get herself to do so. They had never fought before and she didn't want to start now. This was something that needed to be talked about, not fought.

"Deeks, please…"

"I'm going to shower." And with that he went into the small bathroom attached to the master bedroom and left Kensi thinking.

"Damnit, Blye! You're so wound up. You cannot even talk to him about your problems! Just get a grip on yourself and tell him," she muttered to herself and threw the blanket off of herself. She stood up, smoothed the fabric of her, _his_, clothes and took an unsure step towards the door of the bathroom. She heard the shower go on and hesitated. If she was going in there, all the lines she had drawn would crumble and she would invade his personal space. That would lead to him making some comments or to invade _hers_. She took one last breath and opened the door.

"Listen. Jack is an asshole. I told him that and he knows what's happened to me in the past." _Not like you._ "I don't know what led him to stalk me and send me _things_, but I know that every second I'm spending with you is pushing the risk higher. The risk for you to get hurt, shot at, or worse; killed. And I don't want that. You mean too much to me, Deeks." The last sentence was whispered and she felt her walls crumbling slowly.

Meanwhile, in the shower, Deeks was silent and just listened to her.

"Jack and I… we were engaged, as you know. Everything was perfect until he came back from Afghanistan; he told me it felt like hitting the ground. He had PTSD and I tried to get him to come back to me but he didn't. He would always have those mood swings: One moment he was fine and the next he scarred me and raised his voice. When he left me I swore to myself that I'd never ever let someone near me like that again. It was a huge challenge to even trust Callen and Sam too."

"And what about me? Am I just your work colleague?" He asked and she almost missed the question. She was completely lost in thought with her speech.

"No. _No! _If you ever think that again, then you don't know me at all."

"It sometimes feels like that, Kensi. And that's what I'm worried about! I… you're so important to me and I'm worried that this is all going to be destroyed by _him _wanting to be your man again."

_No one's ever going to be my man besides you_, she wanted to answer. But she couldn't get herself to say it. _Yet. There'll be a time when I'm ready._

"You're more than just my partner, Deeks. You are my best friend and I couldn't live without you, I guess. You annoy me so much and at the same time, the thought of you being back at LAPD or somewhere else where I am not, kills me. So do you understand that you are the most important and stable thing in my life?" she asked breathlessly and in the next moment the shower curtain opened on the side and Deeks' blond mop came out.

"Can you give me a towel, please?"

"Seriously? We're having like the most important talk in our lives and you want a towel?"

He grinned. "Yeah I do. If you want to see me in all my glory, then hell; forget the towel!" He grabbed the shower curtain and made a gesture to open it fully.

"Stop! Here you go." She yanked the towel from its holder on the wall and threw it at him.

"Thanks, Fern." Kensi swayed a little at the nickname.

"Please… Don't say that ever again."

"You always tell me not to. And if I do, then you're smiling. Aren't you smiling now?" he asked from behind the curtain.

"_He _called me that, Deeks!" she almost screamed and wrapped her arms around herself.

"What!" Deeks shouted and finally came out of the shower clad just in a towel with droplets of water searching their way over his chest.

She just nodded. She was too impressed by the image before her eyes. Surely she had seen him shirtless before, but not with water all over him. He made her head and heart ache for something she _apparently _could not have.

"That son of a…" He stopped himself just before finishing. "If he comes near you, I'm gonna kill him. How does he know of my nickname for you?"

"I asked myself the same thing." She said while Deeks paced in his bathroom- _almost_ _naked for god's sake! _

"Can you please… change into something more appropriate?"

"What?" he looked down at the towel around his waist. "Oh yeah. Sorry…"

"No witty comment?" She asked and had to smile.

He just shook his head and went back into his bedroom to change. Meanwhile Kensi was occupied with her reflection in the mirror.

"Of course you look like hell, Kensi. I wonder why he hasn't kicked you out yet…" she muttered to herself and quickly made an attempt to wash her face and comb through her hair with her fingers.

"I'd never kick you out, Kens." Came Deeks' reply out of the bedroom.

"You cheeky little bastard. That was not meant for you to hear!"

"Well I did hear it, so… Nothing's gonna change the fact that you're very welcome here." He grinned and came back into the bathroom.

"I'm making coffee and late lunch. Probably pancakes. You want some?"

"You can cook?"

He sent her a fake hurt look and lay his hand over his heart. "I'm shocked that you would even think that I can't cook!"

"I'm sorry." She held back a laugh. "I just haven't eaten anything homemade from you yet."

"Then be prepared, _princess_!" He left the room and Kensi smiled. For the first time this day, she felt like everything was settling back to normal and like she hadn't had to worry about Jack and what he might do.

Of course, there was still the thing that he would have something against the fact that she was staying at her partner's house, rather than at her own, but she hoped he wouldn't come to them. Otherwise there would be some serious fighting going on…

"Deeks, can I take a shower?" she asked loudly so he would hear her.

"Course! Towels are in the cupboard."

"Thanks." She closed the door, took out two of the green-white towels and inhaled the scent that was coming from them. Like the shirt she wore, it smelled like _Deeks_ and she had to shake her head at herself.

_When did I get so lovie-dovie about him, _she asked herself. She couldn't risk him hearing her again.

After fifteen minutes she walked out of the bathroom into his bedroom and searched for some new clothes. For the first time she noticed the two pictures sitting on his nightstand. After changing into an old LAPD-shirt of his and the jogging trousers she sat down on the left side of the bed and took the frames in her hands. One of them was of Kensi and Deeks. Nell had taken it on Christmas in a moment of pure surprise when the partners had shared a long look. A look of passion, lust and maybe even love?  
The second picture was of a young boy with blonde hair much like Deeks' and a young women.

"Kens? Dinner's ready." Deeks said and suddenly he was in the room. When he saw her holding the two frames in her hands his breath hitched. He sat down next to her and whispered, "That's my Mom."

She nodded and said, "Yeah I figured. She was pretty."

"Yeah without bruises I guess she was…" His voice held a certain amount of hatred and she could only guess who it was for: his father.

"You never talk about your parents." She pointed out and regretted it in the next moment. _She _herself didn't talk about hers.

"I don't want to think about them. It makes me sad and angry all together."

"I'm sorry." She whispered and laid a hand on his arm. He looked up at her and they held their gaze. Sparks were flying all around them and she had to control herself not to kiss him right then and there. She really wanted to.

"I like the other picture better anyways." Deeks told her and smiled.

"Yeah, me too. It's good that Nell made two copies. I'm glad I have one too…"

She felt her cheeks getting warm and looked down at the picture of the two of them. It really was a good shot and she had it in in her purse all the time. She even made a copy of it and framed it. Now it was in her wardrobe where she was sure he would never look into.

"Let's eat." He got her out of her thoughts and she nodded. Carefully she placed the pictures on the nightstand and followed him out to the living room and the kitchen.

"Wow, something smells really good here!" she wrinkled her nose and sat down at the table. Her stomach growled loudly and she immediately reached for the plate.

"Enjoy, Kens." He grinned at her and sipped his coffee, all the while watching her.

"Oh god… This is _so _delicious! You have to cook more often for me!" she said in between bites of pancakes.

"Maybe I will." He answered and stole a bit of a pancake from her.

"Hey! That's mine! Don't you have your own?"

"I already ate them. I cooked just so many, to be exact: that's my pancake."

"Idiot." But even as she said this word to her partner, she smiled and cut the remaining half of the pancake into pieces. She ate one piece then shoved the plate to him. "Eat up."

"But it's yours."

She just shrugged her shoulders and watched him gladly eat the last remaining pancake. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. What are we doing now?"

"I guess we could watch a film or go out? I have to walk Monty later and I originally wanted to go surfing too. Maybe you could come?" His voice sounded hopeful and Kensi nodded. She really wanted to go out and enjoy the weather. And she wanted to see him shirtless _again_.

"Yeah, okay." They stood up, put the plates into the dishwasher and made their way to the couch.

"Okay, I got…" before Deeks could list all his films, his phone rang.

"Yes?" he answered it and listened for a moment, all the while holding Kensi's gaze.

_Oh god, what's going on? He's getting all pale in the face! _Kensi worried.

"Okay. Thanks, Nell." He shut the phone and sighed. Kensi jumped up and looked at him expecting an answer.

"There goes surfing, walking Monty and spending the rest of Friday at home. They found something."

* * *

**What did you think of this? Please give me feedback, everything makes me write more and faster! :)**


	5. Demands

**A/N: Hey guys! It's sunday! I hope you all Americans of you had a very good 4th of July :)**

**Enjoy this and please let me know what you think! Or what you want to see happen next!**

**And thanks to more than 100 followers. I'm so happy!**

**Disclaimed...**

**PA15**

PS: One of the guests, JUstTHinking, reminded me that in the series, the body of Kensi's father was unrecognizable. Just pretend that there was something recognizable for this story... :D But thanks for the reminder! 

* * *

When they arrived at the OSP centre, everyone was running around like there was a terrorist in the building or a big mission going on.

"What's going on here?" Kensi asked. She sounded really worried, like something had happened.

"I don't know..." Deeks answered and they made their way to Hetty's office.

"Mr Deeks, Ms Blye. I'm glad you could come in so quickly." She spoke as soon as she saw them. They stood in front of the chairs, not caring to sit down for a moment. "There is some good news and some bad news. But before I talk about that, I need to speak to you, Ms Blye."

"To me?" The hound agent was obviously surprised. Talks without her partner were always hard. Especially when the person on the other side of the table was such an influential woman, her boss.

"Yes. Mr Deeks, you can go to OPS. We'll be there in a moment."

When Kensi looked at her partner expecting him to nod and go, she saw nothing of those two things. He still had a look of surprise and uncertainty on his face. She knew that he was struggling with himself whether to go or to protest against going. "Go, Deeks. I'll be fine." She gave him a small smile and saw him nod. When Hetty was occupied with a sheet of paper in front of her, Kensi took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

"See you later, partner." He whispered. To be not so obvious, Kensi turned back to Hetty after watching him for exactly two seconds and sat down in one of the chairs.

"So... What is it you wanted to talk about?" She asked her boss. Something wasn't right, Kensi could feel it and see it in Hetty's face.

"Ms Blye... We received a letter."

"What kind of letter?" Kensi took a deep breath and leaned forward in the chair. She had a hunch from who the letter might be.

"A letter for us to let you go from NCIS. For me to fire you."

"What!" Kensi almost screamed.

"Read it." She pushed the piece of paper across the table to Kensi. Kensi took it and with one last glance at Hetty's poker face, she looked down. The letter was handwritten and she immediately recognized the handwriting. After she read it, her face turned pale.

"Are you?" Kensi asked. She couldn't believe that he had gone so far as to involve Hetty. He wrote that she had to fire Kensi, so they could live 'happily ever after'. This was insane.

"Of course not, Ms Blye! How could you even think that? We wouldn't give such a criminal anything, let alone one of our own. That would never happen. But, that's not the question I had."

_That wasn't even a question before_, Kensi wanted to answer. She leaned back in her seat, the strain becoming less, but not going away and said, "Ask away."

"Why is your ex-fiancé so angry at your partner?"

Somehow Kensi had known that she would ask that. The hatred towards her partner came out in the letter too.

"He... Jack doesn't like him. He thinks that Deeks is much more than a partner to me and that makes him incredibly jealous."

"Is he?"

"Is he what?"

"More than a partner to you."

Kensi squirmed in her seat. She had asked that question before, and since then, something had changed. In the past, her answer would have been, "He's my friend. Nothing more and nothing less." In the past, she hadn't admitted it to herself. But now, almost one year later, she was sure that there was more than just friendship going on. In fact, they DID have a THING.

"Hetty..." She started but the older women interrupted her agent.

"Ms Blye, you know you can tell me this, right? I won't be telling this to anyone else." Her boss smiled a bit.

"Okay... I think that there could be more with Deeks. He knows me like nobody has ever known me before and he likes me for who I am. To have him in my life is something great and I wouldn't trade that for anything else. But I'm scared. Scared that he will be gone someday like Jack was." It wasn't like her to admit such things to her BOSS, but she had to. This time, there was no lying and pretending that there was something. This time, she WANTED to be honest.

"Thank you for telling me this, Kensi." Hetty said in a small and soft voice. "I don't think he'd leave you without an explanation or without telling you where he was going. Besides that, I don't think that he would leave you at all. He truly cares for you." She took a deep breath. "I'm not telling you this as your boss. This is me, Hetty, talking to you, Kensi. Even if I wouldn't allow this; I'm giving you two my blessing. You two are what's best for each other." And with that, the speech was over. She smiled at Kensi's expression. The hound agent was completely overwhelmed by the outcome of this talk. She had to get over this. Had to get over Jack, over the feelings he left her with.

"Now let's go see the others." The petite lady stood up and waved in the direction of OPS. Kensi followed and they climbed the stairs side by side. When the doors of the technical centre opened, everyone turned their heads from the big screens to the two. Hetty made her way around the table to the others. Callen, Sam, Eric, Nell and Hetty all stood in front of the big table that was in the center of the room, but Deeks was situated behind it. The others couldn't see them if they didn't turn around and Kensi wanted just that. Without words she walked towards her partner and stood beside him.

They could even touch if they wanted to and that's exactly what Deeks did. First, he just looked at her and then he took her hand and caressed it in soothing circles. "I'm okay." She whispered to him and leaned into his side for a moment. These actions, as unseen and unimportant as they were for a possible relationship, were suddenly so intimate that Kensi's heart began to flutter.

"Let's start, Mr Beale." Hetty spoke after giving her two agents time to have a moment together.

"Okay. This is what happened." He played a video from a surveillance camera at Kensi's house. She wondered how that got there, but she expected Callen and Sam did it.

The whole team watched as someone, dressed in a tradesman's uniform, was walking towards the front porch. He got something out of his pocket and the agents soon saw that it was a key to her house. Minutes later the man was inside the house and the door shut.

"That's him." Kensi said.

"Are you sure?" Callen asked.

"Of course I am! He looked right into the camera! I'd have to be blind and have a very bad memory not to recognize him!" She told her colleague sharply.

"This is what happened inside." Eric spoke up and tapped some times on his iPad. Another video opened and showed Kensi's bedroom.

They all watched in pure hatred how he opened all the drawers, took some things out and laid them on the bed. The things they saw where all clothes for men and they were sure that they weren't his.

Jack took a pair of scissors out of his back pocket and began to cut them into tiny pieces. Kensi had to watch how her favorite t-shirt from her partner, that she wore often to bed, was cut into individual parts.

After Jack had cut all the clothes of Deeks, he turned around and reached into the drawer with Kensi's underwear. He took something out, slid it through his hands and brought it to his nose afterwards.

Kensi's stomach was spinning around and she felt her partner tense up the moment Jack reached into her drawer.

"That bastard! Did you guys get him?" He asked and let go of her hand to clench his into a fist.

"No. We were too late. When we arrived, he was gone and nobody had thought anything suspicious about him, since he was there in a tradesman's uniform."

"Damnit! And now? How are we going to get to him? What if he's coming back? What if..." Deeks swore and couldn't finish his sentence.

Kensi felt her heart beat faster at how much her partner cared. The others all turned around except Eric. "Wait. He did something else."

"I don't want to see it." Deeks murmured. "Just tell us."

Eric nodded and said, "He took a picture frame."

With that Kensi looked up and her heart started beating faster. _Please don't let it be the one of my father or the one with Deeks!_She hoped. "Which one?" She got herself to ask.

"The one in your bedroom."

Kensi frowned. "There're two."

"Oh... I thought..." Eric began but Kensi lost her patience.

"Eric! Where was it?"

"How can I know? There was glass everywhere on the floor, near your wardrobe. The one on the nightstand is still there, but turned over." He answered and looked down.

"Damnit!" Kensi swore and turned around. She ignored the questions of her colleagues as to where she was going and just started to walk out of the room. When she was standing at the stairs, she practically ran out of the building. Outside she leaned against the wall and tried to wipe the tears off of her face.

This picture was her everything, she looked at it everyday and always thought about Deeks and her feelings for him. Now Jack had stolen it. Jack had her picture of Deeks to punish her. That act alone was unforgivable.

"Kensi?" She heard him speak from behind.

"Go away, Deeks..." She murmured and leaned her head against the wall of the building.

"I'm not going anywhere, princess." He whispered and turned her around by her shoulders.

Kensi looked at the ground. She didn't want her partner to see her like this again.

"Hey. Kensi, please look at me."

She shook her head stubbornly and as a result she felt his finger that was under her chin. He tilted her head up and their eyes met.

"The picture. Who's in it?"

"You." She whispered, still looking into his baby-blues. Usually she would have punched him at the attempt to touch her. But the last few days weren't usual in any part and she let herself for once not be the tough agent. She started to sniffle when he didn't say anything and just stared at her.

"You have a picture of me?"

"You have one of me too." She whispered and fresh tears sprung from her eyes at the thought of the picture.

"Oh Kensi..." Deeks murmured and in the next second she was flying towards his arms and crying her heart out.

Her arms were slung around his back and her head was pressed into his chest. She felt his arms sneak around her and one of them tangled in her hair. After several minutes of crying she began to hiccup.

"You have to stop crying, Kens. Otherwise you're going to hyperventilate."

"I...don't...care..." She whispered between hiccups.

He loosened his grip on her and pushed her face away from his chest.

"Kens." He told her and wiped the tears off her face even as new tears followed soon after. "Please, just calm down. I can't stand to see you like this..."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I'm trying..." She whispered and enjoyed the comforting feeling of his hand in her hair.

"Okay. If you're trying that's good." He stopped for a minute and stilled his hand. "Kens… there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"It's just that… All this? It's driving me crazy, you know? Since this morning I'm much more worried about you than I've ever been. You mean so much to me and the thought of losing you to this _bastard _makes me sick. Kensi, you… I… I have feelings for you." He stopped and looked at her expectantly.

"Please, don't do this…" Kensi said and looked at him pleadingly. "Now is not the right time to say this."

"Then when _is _the right time?"

"After all this has ended." Kensi took his hand in hers. "Look. This whole thing? It's bugging me too. But you have to know, that when this is over, I'd be willing to give our thing a try. I promise. These aren't just friendly feelings, there's more than that. I know it now. But this has to wait till Jack is…" She stopped.

_Jack. Damnit!  
_  
"Kens? You okay? What was it you wanted to say?"

And then the unimaginable happened. The sound of a gun that was unlocked with a _click_, so familiar to both of them, was heard. There was a lump building in Kensi's stomach and she could see her partner swallowing. Behind Deeks was Jack, the gun in his hand and pressing it against the detective's head.

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**A/N#2: I know some of you reaaally hate my cliffhangers. But aren't they cool? :D **

**_Pay attention to the small review-button under this *-*_**


	6. Hurting

**A/N: Hey guys. Hope you have/had a great weekend. :)**

**Enjoy! And leave a review. What do you think will happen? What do you want to see happen next?**

**PA15**

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**Previously on Valentine's Day:**

_Behind Deeks, Jack was standing there, the gun in his hand and pressing it against the detective's head. _

_Oh my god. This cannot happen! _Kensi thought with her heart pounding furiously. "Jack…" she whispered and turned her gaze to her ex-fiancé.

"Kens, I hoped you wouldn't go this far. I really hoped that you would come to me before I had to do this. But since this is not going how I would like, I have to do this by other means."

"Jack, please… Nobody has to get hurt." _Especially not Deeks_, she wanted to add. But she couldn't. Her eyes alternated between the man with the gun and her partner. Deeks' eyes were only focused on Kensi and she saw how his eyes had turned a deeper shade of blue. She watched how he formed his hands into fists and ground his teeth._ Oh, please no…_ she pleaded and her eyes began to water.

"I gave you a chance, Kensi. I waited and waited, but you never came. Instead, you spent your days _and _nights with _him_." Kensi could see the rage in Jack's eyes.

She took a deep breath and said, "Jack. I'm sorry. I just wanted to…" she couldn't find the words to say. If she told him that she just needed someone to comfort her, he would only get angrier. And she certainly didn't want him to escalate and do something stupid. "What can I do, Jack?" she finally said and by now she didn't want to look her partner in the eye. She _knew _that he wouldn't understand why she was actually trying to get Jack's focus on herself instead of him.

"Come with me. Leave him and come with me." He told her determined.

"I can't. And you know it." She whispered. _Was it right to say this? He will not like it_, she thought. And in the next moment she knew that she was right.

"No, Kensi! This isn't how it's gonna be! Don't you understand? You need _me_, and not _him. _And that's why I'm here and you are coming with me." His grip on the gun tightened but he didn't hold it to Deeks' head now. For some seconds he only waved it around while speaking and watching Kensi.

"Jack…" she pleaded again. "You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do." He argued.

_Please, let the guys come and help…_, Kensi sent a prayer. If they would come out and see what was going on, they could help her. And she could finally save Deeks from his miserable situation with a gun at the back of his head.

_Deeks._ She thought and lifted her head to look him in the eyes. He stared at her and his eyes held worry and anger. Worry for his partner and anger for the man standing behind him.  
"Jack. I know you love her. But _this_ is not going to change her mind. Especially if you're holding a gun to my head." He told the ex-soldier in a calm voice.

"Shut up. Nobody asked for your opinion on this."

"Well, I'm sure that _Kensi_ is dying to know what I think of you."

If this situation wouldn't have been so scary and so _different_ Kensi would have rolled her eyes at her partner. But this was deadly serious!

"I told you to shut up." Jack leaned closer to Deeks' ear. "Listen, _Detective_, you can do nothing to help her. I'll get her, one way or another. But I know that I have to do something to you shut up and have her go with me. Because, that's what she wants- to be with me."

"That's bull." Deeks said. "Look at her! Don't you see it? She's not responding to you. If she truly wanted to go with you, she would already have done it!"

"That is not true!" Jack nearly screamed. Kensi watched with pure horror how her ex-fiancé lowered his weapon and shoved Deeks out of his way so her partner was standing beside her. Deeks instinctly stood in front of her to protect her from this _monster_. Kensi grabbed his arm from behind and held him close. She wasn't going to let him go and she definitely wasn't going to go away with Jack.

Her left hand, which wasn't holding Deeks, found it's way to his back pocket where he had his phone. She gently slipped her hand in it and felt him tense for a second but not enough for Jack to notice what was going on. Said man just stood four feet before them, waving his gun around and talking to himself.

Since her and Deeks had the same phone and their daily messages taught her well, it allowed her to blindly type some words to send to Callen. Only for choosing the receiver she had to squint down. After that she stuffed the phone back into his pocket and tapped his back two times.

"Jack. I know you love her." Deeks took a deep breath and raised his hands a bit when Jack directed the gun to his face again. "I mean who doesn't? She's beautiful, respectful, helpful and her jokes are ridiculous, but that's exactly what makes her so funny. I could go on to describe her, but I won't. Because that would only make you more jealous and angrier than you already are. There's no reason for you to use that weapon, Jack. Do you seriously want to do this if it makes her sad and uncomfortable?"

When he described her, Kensi felt her heart flutter. She knew that her partner thought of her as an attractive woman. But she never knew that he found her beautiful. Never ever had a guy besides her father called her that, a beautiful woman. She always was the tough Agent who would change into a tight dress or skirt for a mission.  
She gently spread her fingers on his back and hoped he would silently understand that she more than appreciated what he said- even if he wasn't looking her in the eye she knew he meant it.

"Do you love her?" she heard jack ask and turned her head to look at him.

"Yes, Jack. I do." Deeks whispered. She wasn't entirely sure if that was the right thing for Deeks to say to the man with the gun. At first, her only priority was for her to make sure that Jack didn't shot her partner because of the answer. Then she realized what her partner just said. _He loves me._ Her heart did a flip and she just wanted to say the words back to him, to hug him, hold him close and stay with him forever.

When Kensi directed her gaze to Jack again and watched him closely she saw how his behavior changed. He had stopped pacing and was looking directly at her, not at Deeks.

"Kensi, I really love you. And I know that sometime in the past, you loved me too." She felt the need to say that she did, to agree, but she couldn't find the words. "But now… There's a man in your life, and I can see now that it isn't _me_ anymore. I'm sorry that I caused you so much pain over the last years."

For a moment she truly believed that he would just go and let them be. But he didn't.  
He raised his right arm a little, but not high enough, his finger dangerously close to the trigger and said, "I'm sorry, Kensi." And then he shot.

Kensi's heart hammered in her chest when she heard the all too familiar sound. When Deeks crumbled in front of her with a faint, almost inaudible scream her breath hitched. She let go of his arm and sank to her knees besides him.

"What did you do, Jack?" she screamed at her ex-fiancé and glared at him.

"I had to do it. He makes me so angry! And he cannot have you! You're mine!" The gun in his hand wasn't secured and he still had it slightly raised.

"You're…" _an asshole_, she wanted to say but the tears in her eyes threatened to spill over and they clouded her vision. She gently laid Deeks' head on her lap, stroking her fingers through his blond hair and mumbling things like, "You're going to be fine." All the while she ignored Jack and just focused her clouded eyes on Deeks' face. He had a painful look on it and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Kens…" he tried to whisper.

"No, Deeks. Please, don't speak. Tell me later." She stopped him before he was going to say the things he had just revealed minutes ago. Kensi just stayed where she was, not bothering to pay attention to Jack and searched around her partner's body for the injury. When her eyes locked on his knees her breath stopped again. His left leg limply lay on the ground, blood all around it.

_Please don't let it be the kneecap_, she pleaded again and turned her face upwards to her partner. "Deeks, can you hear me? Please stay with me… You're gonna be fine!" She gently traced a finger over his jaw and continued the small endearments in his hair.

Seconds later the door near them opened and she spotted Callen, Sam and Nell all with their weapons drawn on Jack. The ex-soldier looked surprised.

"Jack, put down the weapon." Called told him calmly.

Jack looked unsure for a moment but when Sam repeated his partner's words with more force and anger, he obeyed. He gently bent down, laid his weapon on the ground and shoved it towards the agents.

"I didn't mean it, Kensi. I just wanted you to come with me."

"Forget it, Jack." She whispered. "You just shot my partner. He's barely conscious!"

Sam and Callen walked towards the man, cuffed him and turned to take him into the building.

Kensi was deep in thought. She didn't want her partner to die and she certainly didn't want to leave him alone. She clung to his limp body like she was fighting for her life, her fingers still touching him, gently moving through his hair . In the background she heard Nell calling for an ambulance and within minutes it was in the driveway, the paramedics loading Deeks in and attending to his wound.

"I want to go with him." She told Nell.

"Of course. We'll be following you, Kensi. Just stay with him."

Kensi nodded and got into the ambulance. She sat beside her partner, holding onto his hand and stroking his hair again.

"Please don't die, Deeks. Don't leave me." She pleaded and kissed his temple tenderly.

"He's going to be okay, Ma'am. It looks worse than it is." The paramedic told her with a small smile.

"Just hurry up. Go as fast as you can."

His smile widened and he gave the driver a sign. "Got to do what the lady wants."

Without a word she lowered her head to Deeks again. His eyes fluttered a bit and she was sure that the paramedic was right- Deeks would be on his feet again, hopefully sooner than later.

She believed it until she heard the sound of his heart monitor line go dead.

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**The review box feels lonely...**


	7. Hospital

**A/N: Hey guys. I hope you're enjoying this. It's not as actioning as my chapters usually are and there's in my opinion barely a cliffhanger, so... there's no reason to be mad at me ;) **

**I'm away for the next 5 days and on friday, the **_26th of July_**, it's my **_BIRTHDAY_**... You'll all make me happy with some congrats and maybe I'll even post chapter eight two days ealier than I planned... ;) So make me happy and you'll get an early chap! **

**PA15**

**_This is disclaimed. sadly_**

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The waiting in the hospital was the worst thing Kensi had ever had to do. She alternately sat on an uncomfortable chair and stood before the pane of glass, watching the people walking in the park. She was thinking about so many things that concerned her. About Deeks, Jack and even her father came into her mind somewhere along the way.

She was so pissed at Jack! If Deeks wasn't in the hospital and injured, she would have stayed at OSP and talked to him. She still wanted to do that but she also had to stay with her partner and make sure that he was alright. Which he clearly wasn't, considering his fainting twice in the ambulance.

Deeks. When they first met she had thought of him as an annoying and always flirting man who just didn't say what he actually meant. But after weeks of getting to know him, she changed her mind about him. And now, after three years of partnership, friendship and a thing, they finally admitted their feelings to each other. At least he did to her. She wasn't ready to say it to him when he was lying on the ground, bleeding, and almost dying twice in the ambulance. Maybe she would be ready when he woke up and when he was going to be himself again? She hoped it would be like that. She didn't want to lose more time with him. She wanted to stay close to Deeks, love him and let herself be loved- which she clearly was. Since she finally admitted her feelings to herself, she thought about the things she would say. She almost prepared a speech but she knew that when she actually would talk to him, that every word she thought of would slip away and she would have to improvise.

"Ms Blye?" She heard and looked up. Before her stood the young doctor who she had been told would perform the surgery on Deeks.

"It's Agent." She quietly corrected him.

"I'm sorry." Kensi just nodded at him.

"Is the surgery finished? Is he okay?" Concern was written on her face and she held on tight to Deeks' watch, his badge and his wallet that were in her hands the entire time.

"Yes, we finished the surgery. I'm sorry. He's still in critical condition. But we're trying, Agent."

"Okay." Kensi nodded. She wondered why the young doctor was out here if he could help her partner in intensive care.

"I'm here because there's no next-of-kin listed in his file. Can you call his family?"

Before Kensi could answer that Hetty should be listed as his next-of-kin, someone behind her said, "His family's already here."

She turned around and saw Hetty, Callen, Sam, Nell and Eric. She had to smile at Callen's answer because the doctor looked kind of surprised.

"He's right." She said and shot the doctor a small smile.

"Okay. Please discuss who I should put in his file as a next-of-kin. I have to get back to him. We'll keep you posted."

They all murmured a small thank you before he went back into intensive care, and they all sat down beside and opposite of Kensi. Nell quietly slipped an arm over Kensi's shoulders and gave her a gentle hug.

"Thanks, guys, for coming." Kensi whispered and smiled a bit.

"How is he?" asked Sam.

"Not good. They almost lost him... Twice in the ambulance." She whispered and grabbed the hand Callen held out to her.

She desperately needed comfort and even if her colleagues normally weren't that touchy feely, they were now and Kensi was glad about that.

She finally asked the one question that was bugging her since the doctor had come out. "Why aren't you listed as his next-of-kin anymore, Hetty?"

The agents and technical analysts went quiet.

"I thought that since you both admitted your feelings for each other at least to yourselves, I should just let Mr Deeks decide whether he still wants me as a next-of-kin or you. And I bet he's choosing you."

Kensi just nodded and avoided the looks she was getting from Sam, Callen and Eric. She didn't want to know how the petite woman found out about her and Deeks' feelings and she certainly didn't want everyone else to know at all.

Hetty knows everything- that's the first thing you learn when working in OSP.

After that they let the conversation be and just sat there, waiting. And waiting. And waiting some more.

Four hours after she had last spoken to the surgeon, he finally came out. A couple of nurses pushed a bed into a room near the waiting area. When they saw the person laying in that bed, everyone abruptly stood up.

"How is he?" Kensi hesitantly asked.

"He lost a lot of blood and that's probably the cause of his fainting in the ambulance. His leg needs to be taken care of and he's going to be in a lot of pain when he's getting physiotherapy. And he definitely needs someone to stay with him, because his leg has to be stabilized, but, he's going to be fine."

Kensi took a deep breath and felt happiness flood through her body. "Can we see him?"

"Yes. We're waking him up slowly and he'll be dizzy and sleeping much more, but yes. You can all see him for a couple of moments, but if you want to stay longer, it's only one person at a time."

"Thank you, Doc." Callen said and looked up at Kensi. "You can go in. We'll be visiting him tomorrow. Don't want to hear him talk in his current state of mind." He grinned and gave her a brief hug.

"Just tell him hello from all of us. You'll see, everything's going to be fine." He whispered in her ear.

"Thanks."

They all said goodbye and left Kensi with a nurse who led her to Deeks' room. "Just press the red button if something's wrong."

Kensi just nodded and hesitantly sat on the chair beside his bed. He looked pale and the only thing that convinced her that he was alright, was the static beeping of his heart line.  
"Oh, Deeks..." She whispered and held on tight to his hand. She stroked his hand mindlessly and whispered sweet nothing's to him.

After a while she quietly heard her name being murmured. She stood up from the chair and leaned over her partner.

"Deeks? Can you hear me?"

"Kens..." He whispered.

"I'm here, Deeks. I'll always be here." She lifted her hand and touched his cheek. His eyes shot open and blue bore into brown and black.

Kensi had a feeling that he was going to say something he might regret later so she just shock her head.

"Sleep. Just rest and don't think. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here when you wake up again."

He nodded twice, made himself more comfortable on the pillow and took a deep breath. With a last look at his partner he closed his eyes and was asleep within seconds.

When her phone vibrated in her back pocket she went to the window and answered it.

"Ms Blye, how's your partner doing?"

"He's better. He briefly woke up but he just looks so...pale and like he's in a lot of pain."

"I can imagine." Hetty said and stilled for a moment. "Ms Blye, you'll get the rest of the week off. When your partner's out if the hospital, you should take care of him. You want to, right?"

"Yes, Hetty, but-"

"No but's, Kensi." Hetty's tone changed to a more personal level in their conversation. "You can work on paperwork from Mr Deeks' apartment too. If Mr Callen and Mr Hanna are having problems with a case, they can call you and you can help them. Otherwise, be there for Marty, Kensi."

Kensi nodded grateful. But then she remembered that she was on the phone with Hetty and that the older woman definitely couldn't see her nodding.

"Thanks, Hetty." She said and hung up. Kensi sat down in the chair again and sent a quick text message to Callen to ask him how the interview with Jack was going.

Seconds later her phone vibrated again and she received his answer:

_Not good. He only wants to talk to you._

She sighed. She really wanted to talk to him too, but she just didn't want to leave Deeks in the hospital alone! And she promised him to stay there and be there when he woke up. If she wasn't, he would freak out.

She played with her fingers in her lap and contemplated the options she had.

Going and leaving Deeks alone or staying and missing the opportunity to talk to Jack. Not that she couldn't ever talk to him, but the sooner the better.

"Go." She heard and looked up into the now much better looking face of Deeks.

"What?" She asked.

"Go. I can see it in your face, you want to go." He sounded hurt and it made her shiver.

"It's not that I really want to go home or something, Deeks. I really don't want to leave you. It's Jack."

Deeks opened his eyes to look at her. "What about him?"

"He's not talking. And he wants me there."

He clenched his hands into fists and his eyes darkened with anger. Kensi lifted her hand and laid it down on his fist, opening it gently.

"Believe me, I want to stay here, but-"

"It's okay, Kens." Deeks whispered. "Just come back as soon as you can." He relented and avoided her gaze.

She had to smile at his behavior. He was never shy, but in this moment, she could guess that he only wanted her in the hospital with him and not in the boatshed with Jack.

"I will." She squeezed his hand and stood up. Kensi considered going right then and there, but something held her back. Her heart told her to do something lovingly. Something that he could hold onto while she was gone.

She leaned over his face and softly kissed his cheek. "Thank you for being so brave today." She whispered and then she turned away.

She didn't want to see his face because that would surely keep her in the hospital and prevent her from going.

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**And thanks for the reviews and all favorites, views, etc. ! Keep them coming! =) **

***places cookies on the table***


	8. Admitting

**A/N: Hey guys! So I promised an earlier update, so here it is! Also, there will be no update the day after tomorrow, Sunday, because this is the early update ^^ **

**And please, make me happy with a review! It's my_ birthday_ and reviews are like presents from all my readers and followers! **

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Kensi arrived at the boatshed at two thirty. The drive from the hospital had taken her one hour more than necessary and she was pissed to say at least. She opened the door to the boatshed and walked in. Callen and Sam sat on the chairs before the big monitor and watched Jack's behaviour.

"Hey. How's Deeks?" Sam asked.

Kensi shrugged. "He's in a lot of pain. Didn't want me to go." The second she said that, a blush formed across her cheeks.

Callen smiled and said, "We tried. Hell, even Hetty tried! But he's not talking to anyone. Besides you."

Kensi nodded. "Wish me luck. And come in if I'm getting violent," she joked. She hoped she wouldn't have to resort to that, but she was still extremely angry at what Jack had done to Deeks.

She turned around and walked to the interrogation room. Standing before it she took a deep breath and went in.

"Kensi!" Jack nearly screamed and tried to stand up. The handcuffs around his hands and the chair stopped him from doing that.

Kensi sat down on the chair opposite from him and folded her hands on the desk. "Talk," she demanded.

"I'm so glad you're here, Kens," he said.

She lifted one eyebrow and said, "Jack, this is nothing you should be glad about. Tell me why; why you followed me everywhere and why you shot my partner in the thigh."

"I just wanted to see you... Kensi, I love you. We belong together, you know that. Your partner," he spat, "is not a part of our relationship."

"What relationship, Jack? You're sick! There is no us in this life, I don't love you! You left me and after seven years I moved on. I told you that already!" Kensi shifted in her chair and her expression matched her anger.

"But, Kensi..."

"No buts, Jack. My partner, who's currently lying in a hospital bed and is alone right now because I have to be here, is the only person I want in my life. I care for him much more than I ever did for you. He's my everything," she admitted and stood up. She didn't even give him the chance to speak and told him in a stern voice, "You'll be going to court next week."

Then she opened the door, not once looking back to her ex-fiancé, Kensi went back to her colleagues.

"Well, he talked. At least we now have the spoken version. Kinda." Callen said and smiled a bit.

"I'm sorry you had to come here."

"It's okay. I think Deeks is okay without me for a while."

"You sure?" Sam teased her. "Because after what I heard and you said earlier, he's head over heels into you and didn't want you to go."

Kensi sent a glare his way. "This is not funny, Sam. What would you say if Michelle's ex stalked you and held you hostage, and then shot you in the thigh?"

"He wouldn't be able to hold me hostage. Look at me! I'm a muscle man." Sam's half grin just made Kensi that much more angry.

"Are you saying that Deeks is weak? That he cannot protect himself?" Kensi asked outraged.

"No, that wasn't what I wanted to say…" argued Sam.

"It certainly sounded like that. I'm going back to the hospital. See you." She said, turned around and left the boatshed. Kensi couldn't believe how Sam acted towards her partner. Deeks never did anything but good stuff and Sam was always so ungrateful. She wondered if it had something to do with Dom.

#

When she arrived back at the hospital, everything was quiet. The weather was beautiful and she assumed that the patients who could walk and go outside on their own would be outside. She went to Deeks' room and stood in the doorway, watching him sleep. She noticed how his face was much more colorful now and she was sure that his nose would have twitched in that cute way if he knew that she was there. At their last undercover mission, he told her that his nose always did that when he was happy. Kensi always hoped that he was happy whenever she was around.

"He asked for you a thousand times. You should be glad to have him." A nurse said behind Kensi and the agent turned around. The older woman had a smile on her face and Kensi blushed a little.

"I am. Is he alright?"

"He misses you, is in a lot of pain and wants to get out of here as soon as possible. But he needs physiotherapy."

Kensi nodded and asked, "When can he go home?"

"The doctors want him to stay at least five days. After that he needs someone to take care of him." She smiled suggestively and turned around to leave.

Even if the nurse just now suggested that he was staying with Kensi, she already had that idea earlier. She quietly walked around the bed and sat down in the chair. Deeks looked better now, his face was not as pale as it had been before. She gently took his hand, and, like earlier, stroked sweet nothing's over his knuckles.

"You're here." She heard him murmur after a while.

"Of course I am. I promised you, Deeks." She told him sternly and was slightly hurt. How could he think she wouldn't stick to a promise like that?

"Sorry. I'm just..." He started but hesitated for a moment. He took a deep breath and said, "I'm glad that you're here, Kens. Really glad."

"I know. And I'm happy to be here too. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

They smiled at each other and something changed between them. Something that took everything, including their thing, to another level of intimacy.

When Kensi reminded herself of the things Deeks had said to Jack, she wondered if they were all true. She looked down to the floor and whispered, "Hey, were those things you said earlier... Did you mean them?" She didn't want to look into his eyes. She was scared of what his answer might be. Kensi truly wanted a man who was willing to love her and she was scared to death that Deeks might have said that just to calm Jack-even if it didn't work.

"Kens?"

"What?" She was totally engrossed in her thoughts. She completely missed his answer!

"I told you that it was true. Every word I said."

Her eyes widened and her face broke out into a smile. "That's... That's wonderful." She looked into his face and knew he was telling the truth.

Deeks had to grin then laugh. "Oh, Kens. I never ever met a woman like you. You're perfect."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are! Everything's perfect about you," he smiled.

Kensi had to blush. After what Deeks had told Jack, she knew what her partner really thought of her. Kind of, at least. But hearing him say it to her face, without a gun being pointed in his direction, was completely different. Serious. True.

"And I really, really love that colour on you."

"Keep complimenting me and I'll be as red as a tomato," she joked.

"I wouldn't mind. Red means love." Deeks' voice held something serious and Kensi stopped for a moment, her eyes widening for just a few seconds.

"Kensi, you know how I feel about you. Don't look so surprised."

"It's just... Hearing you tell me all this, to my face, well, it makes it true."

"You thought I lied?" he asked.

She barely nodded and whispered, " Yeah, for a moment, I did. But after the paramedics, after I, lost you twice in the ambulance, I realised that... I share those feelings too. And even if I thought for a moment that you bluffed, I hoped you didn't. Because... I..." She stopped, took a deep, audible breath and continued, "I really wanted this to happen some time. I'm glad we finally admitted our feelings to each other."

"Hey, it wasn't me that always pretended there was no thing!" he teased.

"Yeah I know. I just wanted you to be aware that I'm feeling the same. But I can't say it out loud just yet."

"That's okay, Kensi. I can wait." He smiled sweetly at her and she squeezed his hand.

For a moment they were quiet, each of them enjoying the silence and thinking about the other. About their thing which was now turning into something more, something they both wanted.

After shifting into a more comfortable position, Deeks asked, "How was the interview?"

Kensi bit her bottom lip and shifted too. "He talked. Kinda. Wanted me to come back with him again. You know, the usual." She said it like it was something that was happening a lot in her early life.

"I swear, if that bastard ever gets out of jail, I'm going to..."

"Don't, Deeks. He's not worth it. I don't want you to do anything that would make him angry again. He won't hurt me if you're not there."

"But if we're really going to try this... This thing, then I'm going to be there a lot!" he argued.

"Yeah I know. And believe me, I want you to be there. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

He nodded briefly and watched how Kensi stifled a yawn. "You tired?"

"Nope, I'm fine."

Deeks knew that she was lying. Being fine was her way of saying that something was wrong and that nothing was fine. He shuffled over to the right side of his bed, careful not to do anything to his leg and pattered the left side of the bed. "Come on."

"No, Deeks. This is your bed. You should rest, you just had surgery like six hours ago."

"I'm okay. The doctor says that it looked worse than it actually is and that I can go home in three days."

Kensi shook her head determined. "First off, Deeks, the nurse told me at least five days and second, I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," Deeks grinned. "Kensi, lay down. Please." He practically begged and Kensi just couldn't resist.

She stood up from the chair, took off her shoes and laid down on the bed beside her partner. She let her head fall down on his pillow and they looked into each other's eyes.

The day had been exhausting for both of them and miraculously Kensi fell asleep before Deeks.

Before she completely lost the fight against drifting off onto dreamland, she heard him whisper, "I love you, Kensalina."

She really wanted to say it back to him, but she wasn't ready. Hopefully she would soon be, without any ex-fiancés and hospital stays.

But, misfortune seldom arrives alone...

* * *

*placing her Birthday cookies with the 16ths on them on the table*


	9. Mom

**A/N: Hey guys! So I'm totally in a hurry right now. I'm going on Vacation tomorrow morning, to Crete actually. It means that I won't post next sunday, the 11th of August. But you'll all get two chapters at once in two weeks, the 18th of August. Please don't be mad at me forever and leave reviews! **

**PA16**

* * *

It had been five days since Deeks was shot. Kensi had expected the doctors to let him go by now, like the nurse had told her, but unfortunately, they wanted Deeks to stay. As bad as it sounds, Kensi was glad about that. They had wanted him to try walking with crutches yesterday and the day before too. But Deeks was not ready for that. Yet. The doctors said it was normal for a leg to take its time until it's back to its normal state and Kensi accepted that. The problem was that Deeks didn't. He wanted to be out of the hospital as soon as possible and Kensi couldn't believe how stubborn he was. Every time they talked about this he insisted to go home. But they wouldn't let him.

On a Saturday evening Deeks lay in his room, all alone, feeling quite bored. Kensi had a "date_"_ with her mother and at 7:15 she was already running late. She ran around her house, desperately trying to collect all the things she needed. They agreed to meet at 7:30 at her mother's house for dinner and Kensi went a little bit more crazy every time she checked the clock and the time was closer to 7:30. At 7:40 she finally walked out of her house and to her car and was at her mom's 25 minutes later.

"I'm so sorry, Mom." Kensi said as soon as her mother opened the door.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I've kept dinner warm so we could eat together. We'll eat in a bit, come on in."

"Thanks, Mom. It's been a hard week." Kensi told her mother as she gave her a hug. Both woman went into the living room and sat down on the white couch.

Julia Feldman owned one of the biggest houses on the entire street and Kensi was always amazed how the older woman could afford it. Everything was beautiful in her home and very modern. Her mom could spend her entire day outside, doing what a gardener would do, but better. And the garden certainly looked like the woman was very patient and loving with her plants. Because Julia approached life with a loving attitude and had a true passion for helping others, Kensi always liked to go to her mother's and she was glad that they had found each other again after fifteen years of no contact.

"Difficult case?" Julia asked and stopped Kensi's thoughts from wanderingfar, _very far_, away. Her mother prepared some drinks for them and waited for an answer.

"Kinda. I…. There's something I need to tell you, Mom."

Julia put down the glasses and watched her daughter closely. Kensi had a very serious expression on her face and played with her fingers in her lap.

"What is it, Honey? You know you can tell me everything. Anything."

"Yes, Mom. I know." Kensi smiled gratefully and continued, "Seven years ago there was a man in my life that I thought would be there forever. His name's Jack and we were engaged." At the word _engaged_, Julia's face lit up and she gave her daughter a wide and confident smile. She obviously didn't notice that the agent was mostly talking in past tense.

Normally, Kensi would smile back at her mother, but tonight and after all that had happened in the last week, she just couldn't.

"On December 25th, 2005, he left me." She stated and took a deep breath to calm her anger towards Jack. Her mother too inhaled but more at the fact that Kensi was left alone on _Christmas_.

"That bastard! How could he?" Julia asked while Kensi exhaled.

"Indeed he is. He was military, like Daddy always wanted my husband to be." They both smiled at the mention of Kensi's dad, deceased for so long, and Kensi worried for a second, that the admitting-their-feelings in the hospital was bad luck for Deeks and her, since he wasn't military at all. He just worked for the military. _Kind of._

"When he came back from Afghanistan in summer of 05, he said that coming back to me felt like _hitting the ground_." Kensi stopped for a moment to gather her thoughts. "He had PTSD and the things he did, his behaviour towards me was the reason… the reason I lost my baby." Kensi choked up. She didn't often tell her story and she certainly didn't want to get pitied. Of course, she was sad. But nothing will ever change that she lost her kid because of _him_. She often wondered how she would raise a child, what kind of mother she would be. Seven years ago, she wouldn't have been ready for a little baby. If she was ready now, she couldn't say.

"Oh, Baby…" her mother whispered and pulled her daughter in for a hug. Tears streamed down their cheeks. "I'm so sorry. Have you ever seen him again? Did he know about the baby? Did you know if it was a boy or a girl?"

Kensi took a deep breath again, calmed her nerves and explained, "He didn't know about the baby. And it was a girl." She swallowed and continued, "Last Thursday, on Valentine's Day, he surprised me with dinner. After seven freakin' years he wanted me back, Mom!" she nearly screamed. She just wanted to get everything, the anger, the hurt, and the hatred out of her system and telling someone, telling her _mom_, felt so good.

"After I rejected him, he sent me flowers and letters, followed me to different places. But that's not even the worst part." Kensi lifted her head to look her mother in the eye. She deliberately left out the part of her father's finger, that was something her mother shouldn't be told.

"Five days ago, he shot Deeks." Kensi finally said and tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat. Her mother knew about Deeks and she really liked her daughter's partner.

"Oh my god… Is he okay?" Julia asked.

"He's coping. He just wants to get home but the doctors want to see some improvement first. Walking with crutches and all." Kensi rambled and felt her heart speed up at the thought of _Deeks_.

"So it's his leg? Right?"

"Gunshot wound in the thigh…" Kensi sighed and played with her fingers again.

"What is it, Kensi? Why are you so nervous and worried?"

"It's just that… He kinda admitted that he loved me and-"

"Finally!" her mother interrupted.

"Shut up, Mom…" Kensi playfully whispered and turned her blushing face away. "It's just that I don't know how to tell him that I love him too. I just always get kinda nervous and my heart and nerves go crazy. I really want to say it back, you know?"

"You're going to say it when you're ready, Kensi." Her mother told her smiling.

"But what if it's too late? What if he has to wait for a _really _long time and then just…?"

"He's not going to leave you like Jack did." Julia said and hit the nail on the head. She totally knew what her daughter's fears were.

"You don't know that, Mom." Kensi argued.

"I have a feeling that he's the right one for you. That he will stay. He's perfect." Julia smiled.

"Yes, he is." Kensi said and leaned into her mother's side. She had missed these talks so much since she was fifteen and to finally have a girl's talk about boys again felt really good.

"Thank you, Mom." She whispered while thinking of her partner.

#

After that talk they had dinner together and had a much lighter and happier conversation. At ten Kensi stood up from her mother's couch, shook out the stiffness in her legs and said, "Mom, I really don't want to go, but I promised Deeks I'd see him again for a few minutes tonight."

_That's a lie, Blye. You're staying there. You won't be visiting for a few minutes. You'll sleep on the chair again, like you did the last few nights._

Her mother smiled and asked, "Aren't the visiting hours over at eight or something?"

"I have permission to come and go whenever I want." Kensi grinned and lightly tapped her badge, which was secured on her belt.

"Right." Her mom said. "Please give my regards to him."

"Will do. Bye, Mom."

They hugged each other goodbye and Julia followed her daughter to the door.

"I'll call you, Mom." Kensi shouted back before getting into her car, starting the engine and driving away.

#

When she walked into her partner's room, she saw him lying there with his tired gaze directed to the door.

"You should be sleeping, Deeks." She said to him while sitting down on the right side of his bed, careful not to hurt him. That had become their habit over the last five days. Whenever he was awake, she would sit on the bed by his side, taking his hand in hers and they would talk, watch ridiculous TV shows or simply watch each other. She clearly remembered the first night they shared his uncomfortable hospital bed. She swore to herself to never lay in it with him again, because the next day she woke up to find his face distorted in pain.

"I waited for you." He said sleepily and Kensi knew that he was exhausted.

"Well, I'm here now. Sleep." She demanded, raised her hand that was not holding his and raked her fingers through his hair.

"That feels so good…" He murmured and made Kensi laugh. "Don't stop."

"Close your eyes. And sleep!"

"I love you, Kens. I hope you know that." Those were his last words before he fell asleep.

Again Kensi was left with her wandering thoughts. Like she told her mother earlier, she really wanted to say it back. And she hoped that he would wait for her to be ready.

When Kensi was sure that Deeks was fast asleep, she took her hands out of his hair and his hand, stood up and leaned over him. She leaned down, kissed his forehead and whispered, "I love you."

Her heart sped up at her own words and she admitted that she loved the sound of those three simple words with so much meaning coming out of her mouth. With a smile she sat down in the chair and closed her eyes for the night.

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**Don't forget to review ;) **

***places fresh-baked muffins on your table***


	10. Home?

**A/N: SURPRISE! xD Well I'm back in Germany and I have to say... if anyone wants to travel to Crete, _do it_! It's such a beautiful little island *-* And flying is great- I love it! **

**This chapter is a little shorter than the others are, but it's still normal length. Chapter 11 will follow on sunday and after that, the normal every-sunday-update-schedule will continue! **

**PA16**

* * *

Deeks had completely lost his mind during his stay at the hospital. He practically went crazy. Watching TV permanently was getting quite boring and the fact that Kensi had decided to work at least half the day meant that he was feeling bored and alone.

Kensi had told him that he could go home after five days. _Bullshit_, he thought angrily. Those five days were entirely over _two very long days _ago. Spending one week in the hospital with a not-so-good-working thigh and knee wasn't funny at all. He really wanted to be there when Jack was taken to court, just to listen to the things he had to say. And of course, if he wasn't getting out of the hospital soon, the judge would have to change the date _again_. Kensi and Deeks both wanted to put everything behind them and move on, preferably together.

While laying in his bed on Tuesday around noon, Deeks thought about the last week. Kensi was there almost every minute and if she wasn't, the nurses were. It felt like he had dozens of pretty nurses around him, trying to help him walk and constantly asking if he was in pain. At one point he even thought they would give him a bubble bath, but unfortunately, they didn't.

Every time Kensi was back in his room he could see the anger in her eyes. Definitely not towards him, but the nurses. They would flee as soon as possible, with just one last appreciative glance towards the Detective. He always had to smile when he saw Kensi jealous, even if she pretended that she wasn't. He thought it was cute how she would slump over in her chair, propping her elbows on her knees and resting her chin down in her hands, avoiding his eyes. Deeks had always extended his hand to her and said, "I only have eyes for you."

After the third time or so he said that, Kensi started speaking with him again and in the end she repeated the whole sentence back to him and smiled lovingly at her partner. Or did _Deeks_ smile lovingly at _his partner_? Well, anyways, they smiled lovingly at each other.

And then he thought back to the night they shared in this bed. When he woke up, he saw Kensi in his arms, her head on his chest, smiling. He even had whispered, "Beautiful." And then he just lay there, waiting for her to wake up too. And when she did, she instantly blushed then stood up hesitantly, not to hurt his injuries. Then she went home to change and afterwards to work.

Even if Deeks was sad that she had to leave, he could understand her. If she wasn't ready for this kind of closeness yet, he wanted to respect her and he could wait. Hell, he waited three entire years; a little while longer wouldn't hurt. At least not physically. His heart would long for her, but his mind would wait. Kinda.

He swore to himself not to press her into anything because pressing was just his nature. But with Kensi, he wanted to do everything right, which meant no pressing, but waiting.

"Mr. Deeks?" He snapped out of his thoughts at the sweet voice of a nurse.

"What is it?" He said hopefully.

The nurse took a step closer into the room and said, "I have good news for you; you can go home today. The doctors gave their okay. Just take it easy, don't walk on your bad leg, and always keep your knee on top of something, like a bed, the couch…"

As if he didn't know to rest his leg! "Really? That's great! When can I leave?"

"Ms. Blye has to fill out some forms but when she's done with that, you can go. Should I call her?"

"No, thanks. I'll do that myself."

She nodded and walked out of the room, glancing back once, twice, three times.

When Deeks called Kensi's work phone, Sam answered.

"Hey, Sam. It's Deeks. Uhm… is Kensi there?"

"Deeks, my man! How are you? Kensi's coming back in a minute."

"I'm good, I can leave today."

"Great." Sam said and Deeks just knew that the other agent wasn't really paying attention to the phone, but to something else. Deeks didn't care. For the last few weeks there was some tension between the two men and Deeks always had the feeling that Sam didn't trust him like he really should.

"Deeks?" Kensi's voice conveyed worry over the phone.

"Yeah. I'm okay, Kens. Can you come over here please? They want you to fill something out so I can go home."

"Uhm…" She hesitated for a moment. "Yeah, sure. Be there in ten."

Both hang up and Deeks leaned back into his bed. He could go home. Wait. His apartment was on the third floor and there was no elevator.

"Damnit!" he swore under his breath and his mood went from happy to really bad. Where would he stay?

#

When he heard Kensi enter his room, his eyes snapped open and focused on her. She wore a red knee-length dress with patterns, matching high heels and had her hair up in a bun.

"Wow. Where… Where were you?" He asked and swallowed. Suddenly, he felt very, very unsure of their possible relationship. Had he misread her actions in the last days?

"Calm down, Deeks." She smiled gently and laid her purse down at the end of the bed. "I was undercover at a restaurant for some time today."

"But it's not even dinner time yet. Why would you dress like _that_ at noon? Or breakfast?"

"Well, it was a really fancy restaurant and he was a business man so we thought it would be very distracting to dress like this. Why is that even concerning you?"

"It's just…" He stopped and turned his face away. He could hear how Kensi stepped closer to his bed and within the next few seconds she had grasped his hand and turned his face towards hers.

"What, Deeks. Tell me."

"I don't know if I can do it anymore."

"Do what?" Kensi asked and squeezed his hand encouragingly.

"Watch you go undercover with other men if we really should give this… this _thing _a try!" He blurted out in a fast pace and hoped that Kensi understood it because he really didn't want to repeat it.

"First, this is not a thing." She said and his eyes went wider.

"But-"

"Ah ah!" She stopped him with a finger on his lips and said, "This is a _relationship_." She whispered and held his gaze. Butterflies were floating around in his stomach and his heart rate sped up. He was glad that the nurse had switched off the monitors earlier; otherwise he would have been embarrassed because Kensi would have heard it.

"And second, I talked to Hetty already about that. She promised me that from now on, she would reduce my undercover work and search for other agents. But I still have to do some but we will manage that, okay?" she asked and smiled at him.

"Yeah." The corners of his mouth turned upwards and he said, "Now go get those forms the nurse has! I want to go home!"

Right that second a nurse entered and smiled. "Hey, Kensi. Here are the forms."

"Thank you, Miranda."

"No problem. Take care, Mr. Deeks."

Deeks just nodded and watched the older woman go. "You two know each other?"

"Well, not exactly. She just talked to me from time to time and I really like her."

"Me too. She wasn't like the other nurses, if you know what I mean."

"I do." Kensi laughed and turned her eyes to the papers in front of her.

She took a pen, scribbled some things down, flipped pages, scribbled some more, and then looked up. "Let's go. I'll leave you alone to change." She smiled at Deeks before standing up and searching for a nurse to give her the forms.

Meanwhile Deeks struggled to change into his sweat pants. His thigh was still wrapped in thick bandages and changing was rather hard. "Damnit." He swore under his breath again and turned to look at the window in the door. There were curtains so nobody could see him, but he spotted a thin figure outside which was Kensi. He took one of the crutches, hobbled to the window and knocked three times. Seconds later the door opened a bit and Kensi's head popped into the room.

"You okay?" She asked when she saw him standing there with his pants dangling from one hand twisted around a crutch.

"Nope. Come in and close the door." He said and felt his cheeks redden.

Kensi closed the door and asked, "Now?"

"Could you please help me with my pants?" He whispered, hobbled back to the bed and sat down.

"Yeah, of course." Kensi answered and walked slowly towards her partner. She crouched down and took the sweat pants from him.

After three minutes of struggling with the pants they finally did it. Both were embarrassed and couldn't really look into the eyes of the other.

"Well, can we go now?" Kensi asked and grabbed Deeks' bag that was standing beside the bed.

"Yeah but… I have no place to go. My apartment has steps and no elevator." He argued and grabbed everything that belonged to him.

"You're staying with me." Kensi stated as if it was nothing.

His eyes went wide and he felt happiness spreading in his stomach. "Really?"

She turned around and smiled at him. "Well, that is if you're okay with it."

"Of course! There's no place I'd rather stay. No one I'd rather stay with." He whispered and followed her out of the room.

They walked side by side, actually she walked and Deeks hobbled on his crutches with one foot never touching the ground, to the exit and her car, Kensi's hand brushing at his every now and then and they both smiled the entire way home.

Both shared the same thought. _Love_.

Then Kensi's phone rang.

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**Please leave a review, it makes me happy and write more! **

**Thanks to Mike for this little cliffhanger ;) **


	11. Simply Densi

**A/N: Hey guys. It's been two days since I posted chapter ten and I'm a tiny little bit disappointed. Usually, you always make me smile with your reviews but to the last update, feedback was kinda _meager_... **

**I hope this chapter will make you happy. It's got so much _Densi._ And to all of you who 'miss' Jack, he'll come back sooner or later. **

_AND:_** Thanks to all your support. I've never really thanked you before and I feel awful :/ Like I said, I hope this makes up for all I've and haven't done. **

**Reviews make me smile and write more **_Densi_ **:) **

**PA16**

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When Kensi's phone rang, both agents stopped walking and turned towards each other. Without speaking they both knew that they thought the same thing, the caller wouldn't be calling for no reason. This had to be important.

Kensi sighed and pulled out her phone. "It's Callen," she told her partner and pushed the button to stop the ringing and see what Callen wanted.

"Hey."

"Kensi, it's me."

"Yeah, what is it? We're just on our way home."

"Which one?" Callen asked. Kensi rolled her eyes at his questioning.

"First we're heading over to Deeks' to get him some clothes."

"You can't." Callen interrupted.

"What do you mean 'we can't'? Did something happen?"

She heard how Callen sighed and then he said, "Yeah, kind of. Look, it's better if you don't see this here."

"Callen, just tell me. Where is here?" Kensi asked and was being watched closely by her partner. He knew something was wrong, he could see it on her face, the way her patience was getting shorter every minute she had to wait for Callen to explain exactly what happened.

"Well, we got a call from LAPD who in turn got one from Deeks' neighbor. She said that she heard some noises and she told the guys at LAPD that Deeks always checks in with her first when he was away for longer than planned. So she got kinda suspicious. Anyways. After half an hour she opened her door and saw Deeks' standing open. So like every other person on this earth she was curious and went in. After that she called LAPD and like I said they called us. Sam and I went over to Deeks' place. Someone was here and he obviously searched for something. We have no idea what it was. But because he or she left nothing but a message, we're not taking the risk of Deeks or you being targeted again. Not after what happened with Jack."

Wow, Kensi thought to herself while listening to Callen, this was the longest talk we've ever had. After calming down she asked, "What was the message?"

"I'm gonna get her."

"Who is 'her'?" Kensi asked.

"We don't know. But we're assuming it's someone close to Deeks. Ask him and then call us back. And don't drive to Deeks or to your place. Hetty's searching for a safe house."

"Callen, I don't want to stay in a safe house. We're going to my Mom's. It's safe there too, with one federal agent and a LAPD detective."

"It's your decision. Just... Be careful. Bye."

Kensi nodded to herself, said her goodbyes and looked up at Deeks.

"What happened? Why are we staying with your mom?" the detective asked, worry clearly spread over his face.

"Someone broke into your apartment."

"What! How? When? What did they take? And what's with the message you asked about? What is the message?"

"I'm going to tell you once we get to my Mother's house. Come on." Kensi smiled a bit and started walking. If Deeks was going to protest, she would simply walk away. And Deeks would surely follow her.

"But-" he started to argue but shook his head and followed his partner out of the hospital as quickly as he could on his crutches.

#

"Damnit!" Kensi swore under her breath. "I hate traffic at this time of the day..." She angrily murmured.

"Calm down. It's not like we have to be somewhere soon."

Kensi ignored his statement and the grin plastered on his face and just pressed down on the horn.

"Kens..." Deeks warned when the owner of the car in front of them leaned out of his window and showed her his glorious middle finger.

"Asshole!" Kensi cried and leaned back in her seat. "We're like never gonna get there. It feels like we're only driving one yard in like thirty minutes!"

"You're imagining it." Deeks said and smiled at her. "At least now you can enjoy me for a looong time without some childish nurse interrupting us."

"I bet you enjoyed their company." Kensi said quietly and turned her head away from him. She wasn't entirely sure how to feel. The nurses were all around him every time she visited and she felt jealous.

"No, I didn't." Deeks said and shifted in his seat to try to get a better look at her. He grimaced at the pain in his leg.

"Don't lie, Deeks. They were flirting with you. You probably were too. But I don't care. It's not like you belong to me," she whispered. For some time now she got the feeling that Deeks wasn't taking this serious at all, even if he had admitted out loud that he loved her and had told her so twice. The traffic had come to standstill, like her thoughts.

"Oh Kens..." Deeks said and took her hand. "Please, look at me."

She shook her head and lifted her left hand to her eyes. _Why are you crying, Blye? There's no reason to do so!_

"Kensi, please." Deeks begged her. After taking a deep breath she turned her head. The Kensi from minutes ago who swore at the traffic was gone. The Kensi that was now before him looked smaller than she ever had, with tears in her eyes.

He squeezed her hand and explained in a soft, soothing voice, "Look. You do own me. You stole my heart, you're in my head and my soul. Yes, the nurses were flirting with me." She glared at him. Even in an emotional state she glared. "But I didn't flirt with them. The only girl I want to flirt with is you, my baby girl." He smiled and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I don't deserve you," she murmured.

"No, I don't deserve _you_, Kens."

Kensi took a deep breath and looked at her partner. She always dreamed they would be in this situation, holding gazes and hands and leaning towards each other. Now they sat in a car, probably the most unromantic place for a first kiss, only mere inches apart.

"Are you sure?" She heard Deeks murmur. She just nodded. She was tongue tied, couldn't get herself to say something. He lifted his right hand to her neck, the other brushing her cheek gently. Kensi felt her cheeks redden, leaned a little closer and closed her eyes. She felt him close to her, sensing that he would kiss her any second now and her heart pounded in anticipation. Her hand rose to his neck, the other going to his shoulder, squeezing and pulling him towards her more, which almost wasn't possible anymore. She felt his breath on her lips and-

"Shit!" she heard him murmur and opened her eyes. His hands were still where they were seconds ago but his eyes widened. Kensi heard a knock behind her.

"What the..." She swore and turned around. There stood an older man, an angry look plastered on his face. She opened the window and asked, "What?"

"Ma'am, can you please start driving again!" he asked and glared at her. Before Kensi could say something, he was walking back to his red Ferrari and honking once more.

"Gosh, this is so embarrassing..." She grumbled and turned back in her seat. She grabbed the wheel and put her foot back on the gas, starting to drive. The traffic jam had dispersed itself and driving was now actually relaxing. When they stopped at the next light, Kensi nervously shot a glance at Deeks. They both sat in their seats looking quite uncomfortable.

"Kensi-" "Deeks-" They both said at the same time and blushed.

"Sorry." Deeks whispered and Kensi just nodded.

The wildest thoughts were running through her head. _Was he really going to kiss me? What would have happened afterwards? Am I ready for that step?_

Silence filled the car for the next 20 minutes. When they arrived at Julia Feldman's home they both sat in their seats looking out the windows, definitely not at each other.

"Kens... We should talk about what happened earlier."

"I don't want to..." She said and opened her car door. She rounded her vehicle, took his crutches out and helped her partner.

"Kens..."

"Please, Deeks. When everything is settled, we can talk about it," she said and fixed him with a begging expression. "I promise." She added.

Deeks nodded and said, "Okay." Before she could turn and start walking he leaned in and gave her a soft and shy kiss on her cheek. He wasn't entirely sure if it was the right thing to do, but he did it nevertheless.

"Come on, lover boy." She smiled and they walked towards the front door.

"Hey, Baby." Julia said as soon as the young almost couple stood before her at the door.

"Hey, Mom. You remember Deeks, right?"

Deeks smiled charmingly at the older Blye women.

"Of course I remember him, Kensi! What kind of question is that! How could I forget such a handsome man?"

_Oh god... This is much more embarrassing than the scene in the car..._

"What brings you two to me?" Julia asked and smiled.

"Can we tell you that inside?" Kensi's asked in a serious tone.

"Of course! Come on in!"

The young couple smiled and followed Julia inside.

"Wow. This house is incredible!" Deeks whispered as soon as they left the entry area and entered the open kitchen. He remembered the first time he met Julia, but at the time he hadn't seen the inside of her house. He could have looked around Julia but his focus had stayed entirely on the mother of his partner.

"Thanks. But it's also too much work. I've got something to do everyday."

"How many rooms do you have?" Deeks showed genuine interest and Kensi was happy about that. Her previous boyfriends only showed interest in things that actually regarded themselves, but Deeks was different.

"I've got a terrace and of course the garden out back. There's a guest bedroom right here around the corner past the laundry room and a big bathroom. Upstairs are two, master suites separated by the study."

Kensi and Deeks looked at each other for a moment while Julia looked on. Deeks nodded towards Julia then shrugged letting Kensi know that now was the time to let her mother know why they were there.

"Mom, we have a favor to ask." Kensi was a little nervous which made Deeks smile. "We need a place to stay for a couple of days. Is it, can we, I mean…" Kensi couldn't finish the sentence. Deeks almost broke out laughing while Julia smirked her approval.

"I sleep in one of the masters, do you want to use the other one?" Julia smiled at Deeks and shot a small wink at her daughter.

"I guess that's okay." Kensi nodded and ignored Deeks. She started to go upstairs. After three steps she stopped and turned around abruptly. "Wait." Deeks still stood where he was before Kensi walked up and looked quite amused.

"Kens, I-" he started.

"Yeah I know. I remember now." A shimmer of pink blossomed on her cheeks and she shot him a look of apology.

"It's okay, You can take the guest bedroom around the corner." Julia said and smiled. She found it quite amusing how two people, who were so completely in love with each other, still blushed occasionally and couldn't look at each other.

"I have to go and visit a friend." Julia said and reached for a small handbag that lay on the counter. "Are you okay on your own? I'll be back at six and make some dinner. We can talk then about why you need a place to stay for a few days." Julia gave them both a questionable look, but quickly smiled.

"Yeah, Mom, it's okay. Don't worry and please, you don't have to make us dinner." The unspoken message 'we are a burden to you' was clear to Julia.

"Kensi, please! Detective Deeks is injured and has to rest and you, my dear. You can't cook."

Deeks let out a hearty laugh and Kensi blushed. Again.

"Let's go, Deeks." Kensi grabbed their bags and made her way over to their bedroom, Deeks hobbling behind her. "Bye, Mom. Have fun with your 'friend'."

"It's Monica, from Gardening!"

At the name Monica, both Kensi and Deeks shuddered and rolled their eyes.

"I hate Monica's..." Kensi said to Deeks when her mother left the house. "That reminds me, we were supposed to call Callen back with a name or names because of that message."

"Yeah, that's right. What was the message anyway?"

"Someone was apparently looking for something in your apartment and left you a message, 'I'm gonna get her'. Callen wanted to know who that might be. He thinks it's someone close to you. Any ideas?"

"I have no idea except for you." Deeks looked worried as his eyes met Kensi's. "Let's call Callen and let him know the only name I have is yours."

After Kensi and Deeks called Callen back they were silent for a moment. "All we can do at this point is let the team do what they do. Callen will keep us posted. We're safe here." Kensi sighed and touched Deeks arm for reassurance.

"Not again, Kens. First Jack, now this." His hand covered hers.

"I know. By the way, I still hate Monica's." Deeks had to smile. Only Kensi would make a joke at a time like this. Or was it?

"Yeah like I don't know that." They grinned and suddenly Kensi didn't feel nervous at all. The last few days with Deeks admitting his feelings for her and all, it still felt kinda blurry for Kensi. She didn't know how to react and act when Deeks was right next to her. But now, right there in her mother's home she felt sure of herself, not shy or something. Not that she had ever felt that way before, not since the beginning of all beginnings, meaning Jack. Just since the disaster with her ex-fiancé.

"What're you thinking about?" Deeks asked and she turned around.

"Nothing." Kensi smoothly lied.

"Kens..." He warned, "Please don't shut me out."

"I'm not. It's... I was just thinking of you." She admitted, blushed and turned around, watching the small window in 'their' bedroom. She heard shuffling and her back tingled at the closeness of her partner.

"Maybe we should try again what almost happened in the car earlier." He whispered and she felt his breath on her ear.

She couldn't say a thing. Her heart beat faster, much like it had done in the car and her palms felt sweaty. What happened to the not-nervous one minute ago, Kensi asked herself.

"Turn around, Kens." He quietly said and Kensi did just that. He was mere inches away from her, his deep blue eyes piercing into hers. She lifted her head a bit, coming closer so he didn't have to lean that low. He lifted his right hand to her hip, the left going to her cheek and stroking his thumb over it lightly.

"Deeks..." She almost moaned. She felt the desire for this kiss so deeply and she hoped that nobody would interrupt them again. She straightened up her body, standing just on her tiptoes and her hands going around his shoulders and his neck.

"What do you want?" he asked and bit his lower lip. Kensi was so turned on by this simple act that she barely noticed his teasing.

"I want you..." She began, closing the small space between them and pressing herself into his body, "to kiss me." She uttered softly.

"That I can manage..." She heard him whisper before their lips finally met in a kiss. It was slow, full of love and perfect. They forgot about everything they had been through in the last weeks. Problems with Sam, Jack, the hospital. There was just one thing on both of their minds; the other.

When they both needed to come up for air their lips parted and Kensi put her head on Deeks' shoulder holding him close.

"Wow." Deeks whispered and Kensi let out a soft laugh, thinking, that felt so good.

"Do that again." She demanded, looked up, and closed her eyes in anticipation.

"Gladly." This time the kiss was more passionate and not so unsure.

"Deeks, stop..." Kensi murmured between breaths.

"What? Do you... Do you regret this?"

"No. No! I could never do that, Deeks. It was perfect." She said and lifted her hand to his cheek, which immediately led him to cover her hand with his.

"Then what is it?"

"You're injured," she said gently. "Don't get me wrong. Like I said it was beautiful, the best kiss I've ever had." The corner of his eyes lifted as he smiled. "I just think we should wait before going further. Just until your leg is healed, okay?"

"Okay. Can I just give you one last kiss?"

"It doesn't have to be the last, Deeks." She laughed at his childish thinking.

He nodded and kissed her once more, the kiss so soft and tender like he was a bit shy.

"Come on, Shaggy. Let's watch some TV." He nodded, held on tight to her hand and they walked into the living room, together.

* * *

**You see it? The tiny little white and lonely box? Write something in it :) Even critism!**

**THANK you! **


	12. Julia, pasta and nightmares

**A/N: Hello friends! Here's chapter 12. I do hope you like it and thanks for all the reviews, follows and favorites I get. I'm overhelmed with every passing week. I do hope I'll be posting chapter 13 next sunday. At this time it doesn't look that good. School starts tomorrow and I'm sick. But I did start with the next chapter. It's just not that much...**

**PA16, who's embarrassed to death...**

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"Kensi, Deeks? I'm back!" Julia said as she entered her kitchen. She planted everything she held on the counter and listened to the noises coming from the living room. She followed them and gazed into the room. The TV was still on but the watchers weren't watching. They both were laying down on the couch, Deeks' back pressed against the couch with his arms around Kensi. His eyes were closed and Julia didn't know if her daughter's were too.

"Kensi?" She quietly asked and walked closer. Her daughter's head turned and she blinked sleepily.

"Hey, Mom... Did we fall asleep?"

Julia grinned and nodded. "Do you want to help me with dinner or stay here with Deeks?"

"Uhm... I'll help you." Kensi raised up and carefully lifted Deeks' arm that held her tightly. She lightly traced a finger over his face before standing up and turning to her smiling mother. "What?"

"Nothing. You two are just so... cute!"

Kensi just shrugged. "Let's go." She whispered and both women left the living room and entered the kitchen.

#

"So..."Julia said, cutting some tomatoes. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Yeah, Mom. Of course. I just wanted to wait for a... Better time?" She shrugged.

"Now's a good time."

Kensi nodded and turned away from the boiling water with the noodles.

"Well you know what happened with Jack and the thing with the hospital. Deeks was released today and originally we wanted him to stay with me. So we had to get some clothes from his apartment but Callen called and told us that someone broke into Deeks' home. And apparently there were some things that... Deeks shouldn't see. I told Callen, my work colleague, that we would stay here with you... Is that okay?" She thought about it further. They hadn't even called her mom before coming over and knocking on her door.

"Oh dear... Hopefully everything's going to be fine soon... You've had too much going on in your life these last days. And of course it's okay! You're always welcome." Julia smiled.

"Thanks, Mom. I just hope that what ever is going to happen..." Kensi stopped for a moment to gather her thoughts. "I hope that Deeks is going to be there and... Never leave." She said and watched her mother.

"Kensi..." Julia started but was soon interrupted by another person.

"Kens. I'll be with you every step of the way. I'll be with you as long as you want me to be there. Even if it's forever. I don't ever want to leave you." Deeks said and walked closer to his partner. Even if he surprised her with his sudden appearance she was glad that he was there.

And she was even happier when his arms circled around her and he whispered in her ear, "I love you, don't forget that."

Her heart clenched and hammered in her chest when Kensi looked up into his eyes. She felt like now was the right time, like she was ready. Ready to say it back to him with as much sincerity as he said it.

"Deeks, I..." She stopped. Those words were bigger to her than anything else. "I... I just wanted to wake you up." Her gaze fell to the floor and she was mad at herself for not saying it. When she looked up, the shimmer of love in his eyes was still there and she saw nothing that showed disappointment. His eyes almost told her that _it's okay_, but it wasn't.

"Take your time, Baby." He whispered and smiled at her.

"Mr. Deeks, why don't you help us with dinner?" Julia asked while the couple cringed at _Mister_.

"Yeah, but please, Ms. Feldman, don't ever call me Mister again. It sounds really old." He said with a smirk.

"Okay. Then help, Marty." She grinned while her daughter almost choked on the wine she was drinking.

"That sounds so wrong..." Kensi muttered.

"Maybe because you don't say it enough, Darling." Julia smiled and handed her new favorite male person in the entire L.A. area a sharp knife and some tomatoes. She still hadn't finished cutting those.

"So what are we making?"

"Pasta. The recipe came from my great-great-grandfather John." Kensi said smiling. "He gave it to his son who in turn gave it to his daughter. And so on. My dad brought it with him when he married my mom and now I have it."

"Wow, so it's kinda like family tradition to give it to the first born or something?" Deeks asked.

Kensi nodded and said, "Yeah. It doesn't matter who gets it, it just has to stay in the family. Usually the firstborn gets it so nobody feels like he's left out. But even if one sibling has it, everyone knows the recipe."

"Do you have such a similar tradition, Marty?" Julia asked.

The second Julia had finished the question, Kensi already knew how her partner must feel. She guessed that he never had such things, because he once told her that his childhood wasn't that rosy and she was sad about that.

"No, no I haven't..." She heard him whisper and turned towards him. His eyes were painfully clouded and almost ice cold blue.

"Why not?" Her mother asked. Kensi wanted to stop her mother from asking such personal questions but she couldn't. Maybe because she asked, Kensi would finally find something out about his parents?

"My childhood... wasn't as great as other kid's were." He simply said and turned to the now boiling and home-made Bolognese.

"Mom, why don't you set the table?" Kensi asked and practically shoved her mother out of the kitchen. "I'm sorry about her..." She whispered to Deeks while grabbing some spices and walking closer to him and the Bolognese.

"It's okay... She couldn't know."

Kensi just nodded, opened some containers with various types of spices and took out a spoon.

"Whoa, what do you think you're doing? Do you want to poison us?"

"Haha, very funny." Kensi said, rolled her eyes and gave him a little shove with her hip. He immediately laid his hands on her hips and pulled her towards himself.

"Put them down, Kens, slowly. We both know this isn't doing you and the people around you any good." He said in a serious voice.

"Stop it, Deeks!" Kensi said when he started tickling her sides. "Please!" She cried and laughed.

"Just because it's you I'll do that." He grinned and stopped tickling her.

"Thanks. And by the way, cooking this pasta is my strength, not my weakness."

"If you say so."

The timer on the oven started making some serious loud noises and Julia came back in.

"Dinner's ready!" She happily said, grabbed some oven mitts and picked up the pot.

"Let's eat." Kensi whispered to Deeks while kissing his cheek softly and pushing him into the living room.

#

The time was floating away in a hurry and after dinner, the three watched a movie before finally saying goodnight at almost one a.m. Julia had gone to bed already and Kensi and Deeks were still drinking their wine and tidying up the small table in front of the TV.

"I like your mother." Deeks said after everything was put away and smiled. His injured leg was resting on the couch and he was regarding Kensi closely.

"Yeah?" She asked and put her hands on her hips. "Even if she asked you about your parents and all?"

"Yes. It's not a topic I completely forbid. I just don't like talking and thinking about it."

"I understand that, Deeks. I really do. It's just that... I too would like to know some things about you and telling me about your mom and dad would be such a thing, wouldn't it?" She asked and pulled on her lower lip with her teeth. She didn't know if he was going to be mad at her for asking but she just had to know what his point of view was.

"I get it, Kensi. I just... Not now, okay?"

She nodded and sat down beside him. "Just promise me that some day you will."

"I promise." He whispered and pulled her closer. Their lips met in a warm and loving kiss and it all felt so _normal_. Kensi still couldn't believe how good it felt to kiss him whenever she wanted to. It felt like they had done it a thousand times before.

"Let's go to bed." She murmured when they parted and helped him up. They took their time going into their bedroom and Deeks let out some painful moans every now and then.

When he sat down on the left side of the bed, he looked up at Kensi quite uncertain.

"What is it?" She asked.

He squirmed and answered, "I just need help with my pants..."

She smiled, kneeled down and put her hands on his knees. "Hey," she said and poked his uninjured leg, "It's okay. I would do anything for you, Deeks."

"Okay... Thank you, Kensi." He whispered again and she found her heart almost breaking with love. His shyness was something she'd seen in the last hours and days more than she ever had in the last four years.

"You're more than welcome." She smiled and helped him out of his pants and into some more comfortable sweat pants, even if they were already worn in the hospital and because he didn't have that much to wear since his apartment was off limits.

"Thanks, Kensi," he said before laying down and sighing. "This is much more comfortable than the hospital bed..." He murmured and averted his gaze while Kensi changed into her night clothes too.

"I figured. I'm glad you're out of there." _Because the nurses were bugging me, _she added in her mind_._ She lay down too and turned onto her side to look him in the eye.

"When do you have to go back to work?" he asked and shifted closer.

"I don't know. I want to do some paperwork, but I'd rather do that here, not there."

He nodded, "You could get some tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'll do that. You wanna come with me?" She asked and curled up in his arms, head on his chest and her arm around him.

"We'll see." He bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Now we should sleep. Today was exhausting for me."

Her eyes widened, she raised up and said, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea! I shouldn't have expected you to-"

"Kens." He interrupted her, "It wasn't meant to be a criticism. I just meant that I'm tired because of my injury, not you."

She nodded and curled up against him. "I'm glad you're here." She whispered before closing her eyes and letting sleep overtake her.

#

Three hours later she woke up because Deeks had nearly shoved her out of bed. Her head was turned away from his body and when she rolled over, she saw him moving restlessly and twisting his face painfully. When he was murmuring her name and the tears threatened to spill over, she knew it was a nightmare.

She sat up abruptly, her hand going to his shoulder and shook him. "Deeks." She whispered and hoped he would wake up. She didn't want him to scream and wake her mother. It didn't work. He whimpered and Kensi's heart shattered. "Deeks, please wake up..." She begged in a louder voice and shook him harder. "_Marty!_" She tried in a desperate voice.

"What?" he whispered and pushed up on his elbows.

"You had a nightmare." She stated and rubbed her hand up and down on his arm.

"I'm sorry that I woke you..." He said and laid back down on his back, taking one deep breath after another, the tears now streaming down his face. He lifted his hand to his cheek and wiped them away in a hurry.

"It's okay. I'm not angry. Do you want to talk about it? You mumbled my name." She didn't expect him to start talking right then and there. She just assumed he would want to wrap his own head around the events in his dream.

"Yeah... It's just that you were kidnapped. Taken away from me and I... I had to watch you-"

"Don't say it, Deeks." She interrupted and hugged him close. "I'm here, okay? I'm alright, nothing happened to me." She took his hand and laid it down on her chest, letting him feel her heart beat.

"I couldn't protect you and he had you." He choked out before curling into a tiny ball.

She had never seen him like this, so vulnerable and hurt. It broke her heart to see him crying like that, not like the normal tough and cheeky detective he usually was. "Please, calm down. I can't stand to see you like this." She whispered and kissed his cheek once, twice, thrice.

After a few minutes Deeks raised his head and whispered, "I'm okay... Thank you." He leaned forward and captured her lips in a soothing and soft kiss.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Kensi. I'm _fine_." He answered and received a grin from his partner.

"Okay. Now we should sleep." She cuddled even closer to him, held his hand and whispered, "I'm here whenever you need me, Marty. I hope you know that."

"I do." He said and closed his eyes. For him, sleep didn't come as quickly as for Kensi. He lay awake for a few hours and when he finally closed his eyes and let sleep take him, the sun had come up already. He knew there would come a long and stressful day...

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**I do have one last thing to ask: Could you maybe leave a review and support me?**

***muffins!***


	13. Mom's

**A/N: I'm so sorry, guys! I know I haven't updated last sunday and I truly am sorry :( I was sick and I had a very, very bad writer's block... **

**I hope you don't hate me and continue with my story...**

**PA16**

* * *

While Kensi had slept okay the night before, Deeks hadn't. When they woke up at seven thirty, it felt like he had only gotten two hours sleep and the events of his nightmare were still present in his head and heart.

"Good morning..." Kensi murmured sleepily and looked up at him. "How long have you been awake?"

"Just woke up and started watching you." He smiled a bit.

"Liar. Have you slept?"

He nodded. "A bit."

For the next few minutes they were both silent and just watched each other with pure love. Just when they had inched closer so their lips almost touched, the door opened and an overjoyed Julia said, "Come on, lovers! Breakfast is ready!"

"Mom!" Kensi cried and faced Julia with a glare.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry! Is this a bad time?" She smiled and blinked her eyes a few times, aware of the situation she just interrupted.

"Yes!" Kensi said and blushed.

"No." Deeks said and turned around to face his partner's mother. "We're coming."

"Ooookay! See you in a few!" Julia practically skipped away and closed the door behind her.

I wonder what made her so happy, Kensi thought and laid her hands over her face. This was embarrassing ten times.

"Come on, Kensi. It wasn't that bad. It was just your mother."

"Just my mother? Darn. If she had seen... this, she would plan the wedding now! And marriage is the last thing I need right now."

Deeks frowned. "Would it be such a bad thing to be married to me?"

"What? No! That's not what I meant." Kensi said and they both stood up to change into other clothes. "Listen, Deeks. Marriage is a big step and we haven't even gone on a date yet. I just want to take this slow. And having a wedding, which needs detailed planning and all, is anything but slow."

"But you would think about it? Somewhere in the future? When you have time for planning the day?" he asked and took off his shirt.

"Yes," she said without hesitation and grinned at him, admiring his muscled chest. The thought of walking down the aisle with Deeks staring at her from the altar, admiring her beauty and wearing a simple but beautiful white dress, warmed her heart.

"That's good to know," he whispered and smiled at her. "You like what you see?"

Kensi blushed and then said, "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Deeks just nodded, put on one of his new shirts and sat down on the bed. He bent his head and squeezed his eyes shut, mumbling, "I'm not seein' anything. You can change."

Kensi had to grin. Normally he would watch, he would love to, but even so she had to admit that she liked the 'new' Deeks, with the shy feelings and all. She found it very cute. He's a real gentleman, he did that yesterday too. What have I done to deserve him? That question had even occupied her dreams the night before. Kensi could still not believe that they were together, that they finally had done something more with their thing.

"So… what are we going to do today?" she asked him while changing out of her night clothes.

He shrugged, "What do you want to do?"

"Well I have to go to work, get some paperwork so I can actually do something here. It's quite boring, don't you think?"

His shoulders slumped and he asked in a low voice, "So I'm boring?"

"No! I just don't know what to do. I'm not used to… watching TV the entire day. I have to do something, you understand that, right?" Kensi said and walked around the bed to face her partner. Her boyfriend.

He was silent and fumbled with his fingers.

"Look, Deeks." She sighed and took his hands. "How about we drive to OSP, get me some files, talk with the guys and then we'll get Monty and go to the beach?"

He shook his head furiously. "You know that I can't surf! What else would we do on the beach?"

Kensi rolled her eyes. "I could walk Monty and you, mister, could just sit on the sand, enjoying the sound of the waves and the smell of the ocean air. How about that?"

"Okay. I'll come with you. I haven't seen Monty in ages!" He grinned and stood up slowly.

"You need some help?" Kensi asked and stood up herself.

"Just give me my crutches."

She turned around and took the crutches that were leaning against the wall. "I'll go into the dining room and see if my Mom needs help. You take your time and hobble slowly, right?"

"Yes." He smiled and started hobbling towards the door.

Kensi bit her lip and right before she walked out of the door, she turned around to face him, leaned towards him a bit and kissed his cheek softly. Then she smiled at him and walked out to her mother.

"Good morning, Mom!"

"Kensi! You're right on time to put these on the table." Her mother poked around the corner of the kitchen and held out some plates and cutlery that she immediately placed in her daughter's hands.

"Will do." Kensi placed the three plates on the table and added the cutlery. After that she went back into the kitchen, hearing Deeks hobbling towards their direction also.

"Kensi, there was a call for you from Callen. Your colleague, right? I met him once, when… Well you know when."

"Yeah. What did he want?" Kensi asked and frowned. Why would Callen call her mother's landline instead of Kensi's, or Deeks' mobile? That made no sense to her.

"Well he told me that apparently, both your mobile phones are off so he had this young lady, Nell, search out my number and called me half an hour ago. He said he wanted to see you guys as soon as possible."

"Really? Okay. Did he say anything else?"

Her mother shook her head no. Both women went around the corner and into the dining room where Deeks had already sat on one of the chairs.

"Morning," he greeted Julia and smiled.

"Deeks, eat up! We have to go to OSP as soon as we can," Kensi said and started eating. Her mother had made a huge breakfast for the three of them, with eggs, fresh baked rolls and orange juice. Normally, Kensi couldn't have such an extravagant breakfast because she just had no time at all before going into work. It usually was just her doughnuts, some coffee and her.

"I thought you…" he started.

"No, it's not because I want to have something to do immediately, it's just that Callen called and he wants us there as soon as possible," Kensi explained and received a nod from Deeks.

They ate in silence, all the while sensing the glances Julia shot them. Kensi's mother was extremely happy that her daughter and her partner were finally together. Now Kensi finally had a man again, a man that made her happy and laugh. That was everything Julia had ever wished for her daughter.

#

Almost an hour later they arrived at OSP and slowly walked, or hobbled, towards their desks. Callen and Sam were seated on the couch, looking through some files.

"Hey, guys," Kensi said and walked to her chair. She sat down and immediately glared at the huge pile of paperwork on her desk. "Who had the idea of coming here and getting 'some' files?" she asked Deeks.

"You, princess," he just pointed out and sat down too. "So, guys. What happened? Anything you can tell us?"

Callen and Sam stared at the two of them, their gazes shifting from one agent to the other and back.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Kensi asked and started to dig into her purse, searching for the small mirror she always kept there.

"No, you don't." Deeks assured her and looked towards his colleagues.

"So?"

"It's just that... You two look so different? Did something happen?" Callen asked with a frown. He couldn't point out exactly what had changed but he knew there must have been something going on.

Kensi and Deeks looked at each other and bit their lips, their eyes communicating and asking the other if it would be okay to tell them about their recently found relationship.

"Are you finally together?" Sam asked and bore his eyes into Deeks'. "I swear, if you hurt her, Mr. I-break-the-ladies'-hearts-on-a-daily-basis, I swear, I'm going to break your finger!"

"Yes, Sam. And please, don't break his fingers. He needs them," Kensi said and winked at her partner.

"Anyways. There's news and I'm glad you could make it," Callen said and stood up from the couch. He moved towards the screen, opened some pictures and continued, "Those are from Deeks' apartment."

The first picture was taken in the living room and they could see everything laying around, some things were even destroyed. The next showed his kitchen with every utensil laying on the floor, the knives sticking out of the walls. The last picture showed his bedroom and right over the bed they saw the message, written in something that looked like blood to Kensi.

"Is that blood?" she hesitantly asked and Callen nodded.

"We don't know whose it is yet, but Nell is working on it." Sam spoke up and stood beside his partner, arms crossed over his chest.

"Deeks, do you have any idea who could have done this?"

"Sam, I'm a cop and I've arrested more people than I ever saved. I've lived in that apartment for almost ten years now."

"Could any of the guys you arrested have found you?"

"Yes." Deeks nodded and squirmed in his seat.

"Well, we found some fingerprints. Let's go upstairs to Nell and Eric, maybe they have found something," Callen said and while he and Sam climbed the stairs to their computer geeks, Kensi accompanied Deeks to the elevator.

"Is there someone who is like really really angry at you?" Kensi asked.

"Of course. There are many men who hate me, but I'm a cop. They could have found a way to get me and not wait till they have 'her'. Who ever that her is." They both hoped it wasn't Kensi, that would simply break Deeks' heart. Especially since he couldn't really protect his partner due to his injury.

"Don't think about it too much, Deeks. It's gonna be okay. We'll find him. Or her. Or whoever is playing games with us." Kensi promised and touched his arm gently.

"Thanks," he whispered and when the doors of the elevator opened, Kensi took her hand from his arm and they slowly walked towards OPS. The doors opened smoothly and revealed Sam, Callen, Hetty, Nell and Eric.

"Hey, guys… hey, Hetty," Kensi said and smiled at her boss.

"Ms Blye, Mr Deeks, how are you?"

"We're good. Do you have something for us?" Deeks asked and shifted a bit so his weight wasn't on his injured leg.

"Kinda. This," Nell said and tipped the screen of her tablet to show a picture on the big screen before them, "is Amanda Ryan, 55 years old, living in Bel Air." The woman in the picture was tall, had blonde hair and blue eyes and looked like a wealthy person, which she obviously was, considering that she was living in one of the poshest areas of Los Angeles.

"She married Walter Ryan, a former businessman, who is now a lawyer, in 2009." Just as Nell was going to change the picture to Mr. Ryan, Deeks squeezed his eyes and furrowed his brows.

"No wait, Nell." He said and studied the face of Amanda Ryan closely.

"What is it? Do you know her?" Kensi asked concerned and laid a hand on his arm.

"Yeah, yeah I do," he answered an ran a hand through his blond locks. He took his crutches and hobbled towards the screen, turning back around to his colleagues and asked, "You see it?"

"See what?" Callen asked and watched closely.

"The eyes. The hair. The nose," Kensi whispered and Deeks nodded.

Silence filled the room until Deeks quietly spoke up again. "She's my mother."

* * *

**If it isn't obvious, I _love_ cliffhangers. Please let me know what you think of this! **

**And thanks to all who followed, reviewed, favorited etc. You make me so happy and I love you all! **


	14. Work

**A/N: I love sundays. I hope you do too? The biggest thanks of all times are going to Mike, my beta (you are awesome!) and to Nadja (you know why *-*). **

**Disclaimer: All rights belong to CBS. Sadly. :/ **

**Enjoy! **

**PA16**

* * *

Silence filled the room until Deeks quietly spoke up again.

"She's my mother."

"What? Your mother? But..." Kensi started and blinked a few times.

"Yeah. I haven't seen her in a long time but I'm sure. It's her..." He whispered and hobbled back to Kensi. They stood close to each other and their hands touched every now and then.

Kensi contemplated if whether she should take his hand to comfort him or if she should just stay where she was, facing the screen and thinking about the fact that he had never talked about Amanda before.

"She... We haven't seen each other since I was eleven, she left me and I was brought to social services." Deeks explained without even having to take a look at his partner.

Callen turned from the screen to Deeks. "What about you father?"

Deeks swallowed. He didn't talk much about his father, about the bastard he shot when he was eleven. Before he could answer, Kensi interrupted, "Well, what are we going to do about Amanda?"

"Someone should talk to her. And then we'll see," Sam said and looked at Kensi. "You wanna come with us?"

"Absolutely not," she answered and with one last breath she grabbed her partner's hand. "I'm staying with Deeks, he needs me."

Deeks nodded approvingly and said with a serious voice, "Please, don't say that I'm a cop. If she's not the one who did this, then I don't want her to know anything personal about me- my job, where I live, Kensi. Don't tell her."

"Okay. We'll inform you afterwards," Callen said and nodded to Kensi. "Sam, you ready?" Said agent nodded and followed his partner out of the room.

Nell and Eric were tapping away on their tablets and watching the screens of their computers. Whatever they were looking at, it obviously was important and something that Hetty ordered them to do. She had stood in the background of the group, watching them all intently and observing which reaction Amanda brought to her youngest female agent and the liaison.

Deeks and Kensi slowly turned towards the doors and wanted to leave too, but Hetty stopped them, "Ms. Blye, could I have a word with you before you leave?"

Kensi nodded and whispered to Deeks, "I'll meet you at the desks."

He nodded and hobbled out of the room. Kensi and Hetty slowly followed, stopping just before the stairs. The older woman watched her agent for a few moments and then asked, "Is he going to be okay?"

"He will be, it just takes time," Kensi answered and turned her gaze from her boss to her partner who was sitting downstairs in her chair, his arms on the desk and his head in them.

"And you? How are you, Kensi?" Hetty asked and laid a hand upon the arm of her agent.

Kensi gave her standard answer, "I'm fine."

Hetty rolled her eyes and said, "Kensi, how are you really? I don't believe you?"

The agent swallowed. "I'm getting there too. This whole thing is driving me crazy and last night I believed that we would be okay, that everything was getting _better _and then his _mother_ turns up and everything got out of control all over again." _And it kills me_, she wanted to add but she hadn't had to. Hetty understood her so well and noticed the meaning behind Kensi's words.

"Like you said moments ago, it takes time. After this is all over, I'll give you and Mr. Deeks some vacation time. You definitely deserve it and you need it."

"Thank you, Hetty," Kensi said, smiled and then turned around to check up on her partner.

"Now _go, _Kensi!" Hetty gave her agent a small push and chuckled.

Without saying more, Kensi walked down the steps and to her desk. "Hey, Deeks."

He lifted his head and smiled at her. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah. We're good." She smiled and picked up the first bunch of files from the pile on her desk. "Let's go?" she asked and received a nod.

While they walked out of the mission rather slowly, Deeks asked, "So, what did Hetty want?"

"She just asked how we are. And she granted us some vacation time after this is over and when you'll be able to walk properly."

"That's nice of her," Deeks said and smiled.

"Yeah. Where do you want to go?" Kensi asked.

He just shrugged. "I don't care as long as you're with me."

Kensi's heart melted. Those few words turned her stomach around and she just wanted to hug him, kiss him, feel him. But she couldn't, not yet, because there still was the possibility of Hetty seeing them.

"You're so sweet…" she murmured and stood closer to her partner. "Thank you."

"For what? It's the truth, Kensi. Don't you know that?" he asked and briefly touched her hand even though he was holding his crutches.

"I do. I just… I'm not used to men saying whatever they feel on a daily basis, you know?" She bit her lip and looked down at the floor.

"Those guys were jerks. I could tell you a thousand things that I love about you and I wouldn't be finished after a whole day," he said and smiled at her.

Kensi sighed. "Let's get out of here." He nodded and followed her out.

_Hopefully we'll know something about Amanda soon_, Kensi thought.

#

Kensi was sitting at the table in her mother's dining room, files spread across it. She held a pen loosely in her right hand while her chin rested in the palm of her left hand with her elbow resting on the table. She could feel her head pounding after working for at least three hours straight now. She hadn't finished a single case at all and she just couldn't concentrate at all.

Deeks had gone to bed soon after they ate some lunch, takeout to be exact, and still hadn't come out. It was now three thirty and Kensi desperately needed a break.

"Screw this…" she muttered, threw the pen on the table and stood up. She walked around the corner into the kitchen, then past the laundry room and from there she went to _their_ room. The door was closed and she couldn't hear anything.

_At least he isn't having nightmares again_, she thought and opened the door as quietly as possible.

When she entered, she could see him lying with his head towards the door, almost sleeping on _her_ side of the bed.

Kensi chuckled quietly to herself and walked closer. She sat down on the bed, mere inches away from him and extended her hand. Her fingers touched his hair and she smiled. "Deeks, wake up," she cooed gently and waited. Nothing. She watched his face for some kind of motion but he didn't wake. She tried it again, this time leaning down and kissing his stubbly cheek.

"Come on, Deeks. It's time to wake." She heard him grumble and lay down beside him. She just had this _urge _to be near him and feel him, much like she had earlier in the mission.

"What time is it?" he sleepily asked and opened his eyes. At the sight of her right before him he had to smile. "Hi." He grinned.

"Hey, stranger. It's three thirty or something."

His eyes widened. "I have been asleep for so long."

Kensi nodded and cuddled up close. "You needed it after last night."

"I guess I did… Did you get some work done?"

"No, my mind was somewhere else, I guess…" She had to admit that her mind was intentionally planning their first vacation together, as a couple. She had daydreamed of the beach, the warmth of the sun and the smell of the sea air, and Monty barking happily besides them.

"What're ya thinkin' 'bout?" he asked and sounded as sleepy as before.

"Vacation and Monty." At the sound of his dog's name he sat up abruptly.

"Oh gosh, Monty! I completely forgot about him, Kens!"

Her eyes widened. Callen hadn't told her anything about her partner's dog. "I'm calling Callen," she said, fished her phone out of her pocket and dialed her colleague's number.

"Callen, hey…it's me."

"Hey, Kens. What is it?" he asked.

"Look… Deeks and I were wondering where Monty is… Because you didn't tell us anything about him earlier."

Callen sighed and was still for a moment.

"What is it, Callen? Tell me."

"Look, Kens. We don't know where the dog is," Callen admitted.

"What do you mean you-"

"Please, let me finish. When we arrived there, the dog wasn't there. We asked Deeks' neighbor but she couldn't tell us anything, we drove along the street and searched for him too, but we couldn't find him."

_Shit,_ Kensi thought and felt the tears in her eyes. She didn't cry that often but she loved Monty and the thought of him wandering around in the streets of L.A. made her stomach turn. "Do you think Amanda took him?" she asked and grabbed Deeks' hand. He hadn't heard much of what Callen said but Kensi's last question worried him. _Much_.

"No, she definitely hasn't. We searched her house for any evidence at all and there was no sign of Monty. But we did find out that the blood on Deeks' wall is Amanda's."

"Did she confess?"

"Sam's working on her now. We'll tell you when she's ready to talk."

Kensi breathed deeply and said her goodbyes. She then put her phone down on the nightstand, turned around to Deeks and watched him closely.

"Monty?" he asked and she could tell he was worried.

"They don't know. He wasn't at your house and your mother-"

"Don't call her that," he interrupted her and furrowed his brow. "She stopped being my _mother_ a long time ago."

Kensi nodded and continued, "I'm sorry. Amanda was definitely in your apartment but she didn't take Monty. Is there a possibility of him being somewhere else? Does he know some routes you often walk with him? Some friends you often visit with him?"

Deeks let himself fall backwards on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Kensi sighed, scooted closer and laid her head on his chest. "Look, Deeks, we're gonna find him. Just tell me where he could go."

"I often walk him to the beach, you know that. We have our route and he knows it. We're visiting you. That's all. The beach, your house."

"Nothing else?" Kensi asked and stroked her hand soothingly over his chest. She felt him shake his head. "Okay," she said and pushed herself up. She turned her eyes towards him and whispered, "I'm going to find him, Deeks. I promise you."

She leaned down and kissed his lips for a small fraction of time before standing up. "Stay here, I'll be back with him. Tell my mother when she comes home."

He just nodded and looked at her with wide eyes. She could easily decipher his look; a look that meant _find him or my life is destroyed_.

She walked out of their room, out of her mother's house and promised herself that as long as she hadn't found Monty, she wouldn't go back.

* * *

**A/N#2: Please leave me a review and tell me if you like it. And what do you think will happen to Monty? **

**Also, for those of you who are reading _Blind_, my NCIS fiction, I'll be posting the second chapter next week :) For those who aren't reading it, you totally should! I would like to hear your opinions on it!**


	15. Monty

**_A/N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this one. It's the shortest chapter ever in this story, but it's not _**_that_**_ short :) Also, please leave a review and answer my following question: _**

**_Should I do a sequel to this story? Because originally I just wanted to write about Jack and now I brought Amanda in it too. But I won't expand it too much. So I'm thinking of leaving this story like it is when the end comes and then doing a some-what sequel. _**

**_And said sequel will definitely have much more Densi in it, which I believe will make you happy :) _**

**_So let me know what you think! _**

**_PA16_**

* * *

Her first destination was Deeks' apartment complex. She knew that Callen didn't want her going to either hers or Deeks' apartment but finding Monty was more important than her own wellbeing. The drive from her mother's house to her first destination took her not more than twenty minutes. When she arrived she could see a police car parked on the side of the street- Callen had probably ordered the LAPD to do some stakeouts. They couldn't risk Amanda- or Jack- to come there (again). She parked her car in the driveway of the complex and got out. The policemen got out too and walked towards her. She ignored them and went towards Deeks' door. She sighed at the sight of the yellow police tape.

"Ma'am, you shouldn't be here." She heard behind her and turned around. A young officer with red hair stood on the porch, his hand touched his gun on his waist, his partner doing the same just a few feet behind him.

"Hi, officers." Kensi smiled at them. "Did you see a dog around here? He kinda looks like Detective Deeks, I believe you know him quite well. He's looking for Monty," she said and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Deeks? Yeah, we know him. But how do you? And please do tell us what you are doing here."  
She rolled her eyes and shot him a look that clearly said 'duh-what do you think I'm doing here, asking for his dog?'

"I told you already. Searching for Monty."

"Ma'am, please leave this property." The other officer, clearly older and with a higher rank than the redhead, said and walked closer.

"Why? I'm just searching for his dog!" Kensi argued and couldn't understand why the officers wanted her to go. Seriously, she wasn't doing anything wrong. It wasn't like she planned on breaking in or something.

"Ma'am," the officer warned again. "Unless you tell us who you are, how you know Detective Deeks and what you want, we're going to arrest you."

"Ha! I would definitely like to see that." Kensi said and laughed. She was about to reach for her badge when she remembered that she didn't have it. She sighed and smiled at the officers.

"Look," she said, "I'm Kensi Blye. His partner." The officer's eyes widened. "And like I told you before, I'm searching for his dog! Now please, can I go in?"

The officers nodded and turned around to walk back to their car. They didn't even want to see her badge (not that she had it) or something else with which she would have been able to identify herself.

"Crazy people," she muttered under her breath. She ducked under the tape and walked towards the door, pushing it open and entering. Her breath hitched at the sight of everything laying on the floor, especially the pictures.

When she walked into his bedroom, her heart almost stopped beating. The color on the wall definitely matched the color of blood. The words were written in pure anger, Kensi could see that. His clothes lay all over the room, his personal belongings were either missing or laying all over too.

"Oh God," she muttered and closed her eyes briefly. Whoever had done this clearly wasn't happy with Deeks, and Kensi realized that she was in danger while being here. She knew there were officers outside and that they would ask everyone what they wanted here but she couldn't shake the feeling away. The person who was here earlier had a problem with anger and she or he (Kensi assumed it was a she) wouldn't stop at anything.

Kensi sighed and went into one of the drawers, searching for a go-bag or something. When she found it, she put some of the still neat clothes in it and picked the picture of Deeks and her up from the floor. The glass was shattered at the right corner, but other than that it was still perfect.  
She smiled to herself and gently laid it in the go-bag, putting one shirt on top of it to protect the picture frame from getting shattered more.

With one last glance she turned around and left his apartment.

#

The second direction she drove was to the beach, which was nearer to his apartment than it was to hers. When she got out of the car, the sea was in front of her with the sand looking so inviting; she let her gaze shift from side to side, searching for Monty.

He was nowhere to be seen. She almost gave up but decided to ask the young couple walking in her direction.

"Excuse me," she said, smiled apologetically and pulled out her phone. She offset the lock and showed them a picture of Monty. "Have you seen this dog by any chance?"

The young couple took as close look, before the woman said, "No, sorry. But I hope you'll find him soon, he's a real cutie."

Kensi smiled and said, "Yes he is."

"Did you already ask at the local pound?" the man asked.

Her eyes widened and she blushed. "No," Kensi admitted.

Why hasn't she asked there? How could she just forget to ask?

"Well anyways, we have to go," the man said and grasped his girlfriend's hand tighter.

"Yes. Thanks anyways," Kensi smiled thankfully.

"Hope you find him," the girl said again and Kensi watched them leave.

She sighed and asked herself why she hadn't thought of calling the pound sooner. She decided to drive to her apartment first and _then_ phone the local pound. Hopefully Monty would be at one of those locations...

#

By the time she arrived at her home, it was already getting dark. She had spent almost an hour driving from the beach to her apartment and her patience was becoming less with every passing minute. If she wasn't going to find Monty, then-

"Whoof," she heard, turned her head towards the direction and her eyes widened.

There, just mere feet away was Monty, sitting on the porch of her apartment.

She got out of the car, almost running to him and cried, "Monty! Oh god, I'm so glad I have found you!" She crouched down and was almost falling because he practically attacked her.

"Marty will be so happy to see you," she said, scrubbed the dog's ears and squeezed him gently.

"Let's go," she whispered after a moment and stood up. Monty gave an approving sound and followed her to her car.

#

They arrived at her mother's house twenty minutes later. Kensi saw the light in the kitchen and her mother standing at the window in the living room. When Julia saw her daughter driving up the driveway she turned around to where Kensi assumed Deeks sat.

She opened her door and got out, Monty happily jumping out after her.

His tail wagging, Monty began to watch his surroundings closely, all the while staying beside Kensi and never leaving her side.

"Come on," she said and started to walk to the door, Monty right next to her.

She took out her key, opened the front door and called out, "Deeks, Mom? We have a visitor!"

"I don't want visitors, I want Monty," she heard Deeks say and before she could even reply something, Monty barked and turned around the corner to where he had heard his daddy.

"Monty!" Deeks cried.

Kensi grinned and walked towards them, admiring her partner who was cuddling-as best as it could go with his injured leg- his beloved dog.

When he looked up he whispered, "Thank you, Kensi. Thanks for finding him."

"My pleasure," she whispered back and smiled.

"You want to help me start on the dinner while those two snuggle out here?" Julia asked her daughter.

Kensi just nodded and followed her mother, glad that her partner, the man she had grown to love, was now hopefully getting back to his old self now that he had his dog with him.

* * *

_**Again think about my question :)**_

_**And: There will follow two to three chapters after this one and then Valentine's Chili will be done. Thanks again to all who have read, followed, reviewed and favorited. I appreciate it so much! It's like I'm having more success with english than with my native language!**_


	16. Amanda

**A/N: Hey guys... So it's sunday and this is the penultimate chapter. I'm so sad that _Valentine's Chili _is amlmost over but I'm excited for the sequel :) as I promised, it will have much more Densi in it =) **

**I hope you enjoy the sixteenths chapter and please let me know what you think! **

**PA16**

* * *

Callen and Sam didn't really know what was going on with Kensi and Deeks and if they were honest, they didn't really much want to know. They had their hands full with Amanda. They had gone to her house and asked her to come with them and surprisingly she did-willingly. They were currently in their interrogation room in the boat shed, the woman who looked so much like Deeks sitting on the opposite side of the table, the _bad _side.

Amanda was silent. She was probably the most calm suspect Sam and Callen had interrogated in a long, long time.

The agents had sat there for almost half an hour already and she hadn't said a single word. Yet. Callen and Sam were determined to get some answers, even if it would mean to stay there for an extended period of time. Sooner or later she would say something, they had thought.

"So," she started with a small smile, "why am I here exactly?"

"Why are you here?" Callen repeated and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe because we have some questions to which you have answers, Mrs. Ryan."

"I don't know anything," she pretended and avoided their gaze.

Sam shook his head and said, "Yes, Amanda you do."

Callen stood up and went to her side of the table. He stood behind her and told her, "Mrs. Deeks, have you seen your son lately?"

She vehemently shook her head and said, "I don't have a son and my name's Ryan, not _Deeks_."

Sam sighed, "Yes you do. Don't you remember your son Marty? You _were_ a Deeks, just because you married again doesn't mean you aren't his mother anymore."

"You don't understand. His father, Gordon, he was a monster. What else should I have done? I had to move on with my life so I married Walter and now I'm happy."

"Then why did you break into his apartment?" Callen asked.

Her eyes widened and she exclaimed, "I did not!"

"Yes you did. We found your fingerprints _everywhere_."

Amanda was silent for a minute. Then, suddenly she squirmed in her seat and spilled, "I'm sorry. I just… he was eleven when he shot Gordon and I rejected him, I sent him away from me and never reacted to his calls and all. I told the judge that I couldn't take care of him and he sent Martin to a foster home. I just… I wanted to talk to him and explain everything, but he wasn't there. I freaked out and I was angry so I damaged some things…"

"Some things? Amanda, his whole apartment was turned topsy-turvy!" Callen said.

"I'm sorry… Can I see him?" she asked and looked at Sam with a pleading look.

"That's not up to us to decide. We'll tell him that you want to see him," he answered.

She just nodded, folded her arms on the table and laid her head on them. Callen could swear he saw her shoulders shake with silent sobs and his heart clenched a bit. Even though he hadn't known much about Deeks' family the sight of his mother, who had lost her child in the past many times, was making him a little bit melancholy.

He motioned for Sam to go outside and both men left the interrogation room. Outside Callen took out his phone and dialed Kensi's number.

"Hey Kens. Listen, we talked to Amanda and she wants to see Deeks," he said.

"_Really? Okay, I'll tell him. By the way, I found Monty. You can't believe how glad he was to see his master again and vise versa. It was so cute," _she told him and he could practically see her smile through the phone.

"Okay, we'll meet you at the boatshed, if Deeks is ready."

They said their goodbyes and Callen nodded towards his partner. "You believe Amanda?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah, I think I do. But even though she broke into his apartment, he has to decide whether or not to turn her in."

"Yes. Let's call Hetty, give her a heads up and then wait for Deeks and Kensi to arrive."

# Meanwhile at Julia's house

Kensi put her phone back into her pocket, turned to her mother and said, "Mom, I'm sorry, but we have to go back to work for an hour or so."

"Really? Well, it's okay. I'll just start dinner without you two and leave you something in the fridge."

"Thank you. And you're not mad or something?"

Julia smiled a bit and said, "No, never. Listen, it's obviously something that can't wait until tomorrow and if you're catching _bad guys_ then who am I to complain?"

Kensi almost corrected her on the wait until tomorrow part because she knew that partly it could. If she could have a say in it, she would leave Amanda in the interrogation room the whole night and let her rot in hell, literally.

Kensi leaned forward, hugged her mother and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. "See you later, Mom. Hopefully we won't be too long."

Julia laughed and said ironically, "Have fun!"

Kensi laughed too and left the kitchen to go into the living room. Deeks was still cuddling with Monty who adored his master.

"Hey," she said and sat down on the couch beside him.

"Hi," he smiled.

Kensi scooted closer and stroked Monty's fur for a bit. "So, Callen called and he said that your mother-"

"Don't call her that," Deeks interrupted and tensed.

"I'm sorry… Amanda says she wants to talk to you."

His gaze went up to her face and his hand on Monty's back stopped moving. "Really? About what?"

"He didn't say. But I think you should go for it. I have a feeling she has something very important to say to you."

Kensi noticed his uncertain and somehow painful look and he asked in a quiet voice, "I don't want to go alone. Will you come with me?"

Kensi smiled and answered, "Of course. If that's what you want. I'm your partner, I'm there for you." She leaned forward and much like she had done minutes ago with her mother, she kissed his cheek. She lasted a little bit longer than with her mother and whispered, "Let's go."

He nodded, shoved Monty away from him and stood up shakily. "What about Monty? Are we going to leave him with your mother?"

"I don't think he wants to leave your side for like ten years from now," Kensi laughed.

Deeks nodded and said, "You're probably right."

While Kensi got his jacket and helped him put it on, Monty gladly trotted to the door as if he knew that they were going outside. Kensi got Deeks' crutches and they walked out together, Monty following them to her car.

They arrived at the boatshed a little after 8, having to drive for almost forty minutes. They entered and sent some small smiles to Callen and Sam.

"Hey Deeks. How're you holdin' up?" Sam asked.

"I'm okay," the detective answered. "Has she already explained why she broke into my apartment?"

"Yeah. She said she wanted to visit you, catch up and explain everything in the past but you weren't there. And then she freaked out and went on a rampage," Callen explained for his partner.

Deeks nodded and patted Monty's head who was sitting on the floor well behaved. "Okay."

"Let's go. Will you guys stay with Monty for us?" Kensi asked and received nods from their colleagues. She walked towards the interrogation room, opened the door and held it open for her partner. Amanda's head raised from the table and her eyes widened as soon as Deeks walked into the room.

"Oh god, Marty," she whispered, "What happened to you?"

Kensi saw him swallow and he sat down with a painful look. "I was shot," he simply said and left it at that. Kensi closed the door and sat down right next to him to give him the little comfort she could without touching him.

"By whom?" she asked.

Deeks rolled his eyes and said, "Why am I here? What do you have to say?"

Amanda shot a small glance at Kensi and asked, "Who is she? I want to talk alone with you."

Kensi crossed her arms over her chest and told the woman, "I'm his partner."

Before Amanda could say something, Deeks added, "And I want her here."

Kensi's heart fluttered with that simple statement. Again it made things so much more clearer and she had to smile.

"Okay. I'm sorry, Marty. You have to understand that I didn't want to damage your apartment. I just wanted to see you and explain everything to you, why I did what I did."

"You rejected me when I was eleven!" Deeks nearly screamed and made Kensi flinch with his harsh tone.

Amanda leaned forward and watched her son with a pleading look. "I'm sorry. Please, let me explain."

"Go on."

"When you shot your father and he was sent to prison, I was relieved. I told myself that we could finally be happy. But the day I came out of the hospital I realized that I couldn't be a good mother to you. I never said anything about what this bastard did to us and I know now that I should have gotten some help, not just for you and me but for your sister too."

Kensi's eyes widened and she almost asked why Deeks hadn't told her about his _sister_.

"Marty, I made a decision that day and I told myself that I would send you to a better family who wasn't that damaged as ours was. I regret that decision so much and I would change it if I could, believe me," she continued and took a deep breath.

"I got myself together by the time you turned eighteen and I decided to move on from everything. I never forgot you or Molly. I loved you both so much… I wanted to find you and not a day went by that I didn't think about _how_ I could find you.

"I just want you to know that I didn't forget you and it most certainly wasn't my intention to break into your apartment and do what I did," she finished and her shoulders slumped.

When Deeks didn't say a thing, Kensi nudged him with her knee and leaned her head towards the direction of his mother.

"I was so angry at you for giving me away. I went through hell and back in the foster homes. There were many of them and I didn't want to count, but in my head I did. I never felt at home with any family and I just… I missed you and Molly so much but I was so damn proud of myself for shooting that bastard and getting him behind bars. You know what I always wanted to hear?"

Amanda shook her head and asked, "What?"

"For you to find me and tell me that _you_ were proud too," he admitted and fiddled with his fingers, before continuing. "Look, I know that you're sorry and I want to forgive you, but it just takes time. I have to think everything through and talk to somebody."

Amanda nodded and laid her hand flat upon the table. Deeks hesitated for a second before lifting his hand and grasping hers lightly.

"Thank you," Amanda murmured and both Kensi and Deeks heard the exhaustion in her voice.

Deeks turned his head towards Kensi and told her, "Uncuff her, please."

She nodded, stood up and took the handcuffs off of Amanda.

"I'll call you, Mom," Deeks whispered. "Now go."

She nodded, squeezed his hand and stood up. "Thank you so much," she said again before walking to the door. She opened it and she was almost outside when she turned around and whispered, "I'm so proud of you, Detective Deeks."

His eyes widened and he watched his mother go. His shoulders slumped and he let out a deep breath, calming down and stopping the tear from falling out of his right eye.

Kensi scooted closer with her chair, put her arm around his shoulders and whispered, "You good?"

Deeks turned his head and leaned into her side, pulling her into a tight hug. "No, but I will be."

"I'm proud of you too, Deeks. So much." Kensi pressed herself against his chest, turning her head and pressing a feather light kiss into his neck.

"Thank you," he whispered thankfully.

They left the boatshed five minutes after sharing this intimate moment, Kensi giving a small smile to Callen and Sam and leading her partner outside to her car. Deeks fell into a restless sleep, leaving Kensi alone with her thoughts wandering.

The only question that was bugging her was why he hadn't told her about his sister. He spoke about Gordon, his father and what the bastard did to Deeks and his mother, but he never mentioned a sister.

While driving she imagined every possible reason why he hadn't told her and what could have happened to Molly, coming to a conclusion that either way it had to be something bad, _deep_ and painful.

#

"Deeks, wake up," she murmured and placed her hand on his shoulder. They had arrived back at her mother's house and she wanted to go in, eat something, talk to Deeks and sleep because much like he was, she was tired.

"Huh?"

"We're back at my mom's," she explained and opened her car door. She let Monty out of the back and went to the other side of the car, helping Deeks with his crutches.

They went into the house silently because Kensi wasn't sure if her mother was still up. She moved Deeks into the living room and onto the couch, placing the remote for the TV in his hand and pressed a small kiss to his temple.

"You want something to eat?"

He shook his head and grasped her wrist, pulling her to him.

"I'm sorry, Kensi," he whispered.

"What for?"

They lay down with him spooning her. "That I never told you about Molly."

Kensi smiled to herself, intertwined her fingers with his and lay their hands over her stomach, her thumb brushing his soothingly. "It's okay; I bet you had your reasons."

"I really want to tell you about her. How she was."

Kensi closed her eyes briefly. So it was true what she had imagined, that his sister Molly was dead. Before she could tell him to close his eyes and just sleep and to explain tomorrow, he continued.

"She was four years younger than me and she was just so… happy, energetic and cute. I loved her so much." She could hear him let out a small sob and she knew that this was the first time he had ever talked about Molly.

"We always played together outside and my father never knew it because he was always drunk or not at home. Mom sometimes joined us but most days she stayed inside and watched us through the window.

"One day in July we both woke up much too early. I made her something to eat just to let mom sleep and went outside with Molly. We played with a small ball and when it rolled onto the street she went to get it. She… she walked onto the street and she already had the ball, started to walk back to me when this car came. She… she died right there, it didn't even take that long. I shouted for my mother and cried, falling to the ground because it was my fault."

Kensi wanted to interrupt him and tell him that it wasn't his fault but he continued, "_He_ told me that for the next year over and over again, every night. I can still hear his voice in my head. _'Martin, it's your fault that she died. You're useless, you can't even watch out for your sister. I hate you; I wish you were never born, little bastard.' _That was his usual speech."

Kensi wiped the tear away that had escaped her eye and turned over in his arms. His eyes were wide open, tears glistening on his cheeks and he looked so _broken_.

"How old… how old was she?" Kensi asked and lifted her hand to his cheek, stroking it lovingly.

"Six. She started school a week before and was so excited to go every day. She was… happy. She had her whole life before her."

Kensi sighed and whispered, "It wasn't your fault, Deeks. Now sleep."

She took her hand from his cheek and put her arm around him, stroking his back. She continued with that until she heard his breathing even out and closed her eyes too, completely ignoring that they were lying on the couch.

* * *

**So what did you think of Molly? We know that Deeks has/had/whatever a sister but the writers never spoke about her so I decided to add her. And I really hope you understand why Amanda wasn't bad. I really liked writing her and I decided to make her a good person :) And I'll most definitely write about her in the sequel too. **

**Reviews? *-***


	17. Epilogue

**Author's note in the end... Enjoy!**

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The days and weeks had gone by in a hurry and both Kensi and Deeks found themselves back in their own apartments. Deeks had stayed a while longer with Kensi, until his knee was almost fully resilient again, but three days ago, he went back home, taking Monty with him.

Although Kensi's mother had enjoyed the new found company in her daughter and her boyfriend, she was quite happy that she had her home back to herself. Not that she didn't like them, quite the contrary, but she liked her new and old freedom.

Kensi on the other hand missed Deeks' and Monty's company, _very much_. She missed the warmth of her partner's body while they were sleeping, how his arms encircled her and the twitching of his nose when he was happy. She had memorized everything he did, how he behaved and what he liked and disliked but even though she remembered it all, she missed seeing it, feeling it.

Kensi's shoulders slumped and she sighed. She was sitting at her kitchen table at seven in the morning, her phone in her hand and contemplated if she should call Deeks or not. After all, it was still early, but she knew he must be up already. After all, today was an important day for them both. In her mind she searched for a reason she could tell him for calling, but other than the upcoming court hearing there was nothing to discuss. She pressed the speed dial and had to wait only a few moments before hearing his voice.

"Deeks."

"Hey, it's me," she said and bit her lip, "I just wanted to say that I'll get you at nine."

She heard him chuckle and say, "Yeah, Kens, I know. You told me that yesterday already."

"Riiiight," she exclaimed and felt her cheeks getting red- fortunately he couldn't see that. Silence filled both of their rooms until Deeks spoke up again.

"Why don't you come over now? We could get breakfast somewhere around my apartment, there's this small bakery around the corner." The unmistakable _they have donuts there_, hand in the air and Kensi knew he wanted to say that.

"I'll get something from there and bring it over," she answered and smiled. She didn't feel like going out much today, her mood had been grumpy since she woke up.

_Must be today's hearing…_, she thought and stood up to get ready. Five minutes later she was in her car, driving as fast as she was allowed to. She got the donuts and two cups of coffee, their favorites, and drove to his apartment.

When she got to the door, she could already hear Monty barking and had to smile. The door opened and Deeks fixed her with a grin and a _good morning_. She bit her lip momentarily before standing on her tip toes and was kissing his cheek. "Morning, Deeks."

They went in and she was caught by surprise when Monty ran toward her and practically knocked her over. "Hey, boy," she whispered and scratched him behind the ears.

Deeks walked the few steps to Kensi and stood right behind her. "He missed you," he whispered and touched her arm lightly.

Before she could stop herself, she said, "I missed you both," her eyes widened and her whole body tensed. "I mean-"she began but Deeks stopped her.

"I'm glad. Because it really is lonely without your company."

She breathed out and turned around. "You know, I'm so glad that this will be over today… I mean, then we finally have time to focus on this _thing_ we have here."

Deeks nodded, took the bag with the donuts out of her hand and sat down on the couch. He held her gaze and patted the couch on his right side, waiting for her to join him. She did and passed him one of the coffee cups. He took a sip and closed his eyes appreciatively.

"Thanks for my favorite coffee," he then said and smiled at her. Kensi just smiled back and took out her donut.

"So," Deeks began and took a bite of his own, "today's the end. How do you feel about that? About him going to jail?"

Kensi shrugged, swallowed a bite and whispered, "I don't know. I'm relieved because he gets what he deserves after shooting _you_… I just hope he won't get away with it lightly."

"Nah," Deeks said, "I don't think he will. You know the job, he'll probably get fifteen years."

"Yeah, but is that enough? He injured you, Deeks… "

He put down his donut and the coffee, turned towards her and said, "But I'm okay. You hear me?"

Kensi nodded and started to protest, "But-"

"No but's, Kens. I am _fine_." He placed his hands on her cheeks and looked her in the eyes. She had tears in them that threatened to spill over and it broke his heart to see her like that. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and he leaned forward, his lips brushing hers for a short moment that was over way too quickly. When they parted, her eyes were still closed and she nodded barely noticeable.

"Now let's eat and then we'll drive to court, okay?" Deeks asked and stroked her cheek affectionately.

"'Kay," she whispered and smiled shyly at him. She still wasn't accustomed to the feeling of his lips against hers. They both felt some of the strain disappear, sat closer to each other than before and resumed eating.

#

The courtroom was filled mostly with Kensi, Deeks and the team, and a few other officers that the judge had wanted to talk to. Kensi and Deeks sat in the front row near the jury and they could see every face Jack made while witnesses and the judge spoke. Every time Jack spoke either hers or Deeks' name, she tensed and inched closer to her partner.

When the judge asked Jack if he had had the intention of shooting Deeks, Jack answered with a straight yes and Kensi noticed Deeks' gritting his teeth. She untangled her left hand from his right, lifted it out of her lap and took Deeks', squeezing it hard. In the next second Kensi heard her name being called and she stood up to get onto the witness stand. While walking up there she felt her back tingling and knew she was being watched by both Deeks and Jack intently. She sat down, bit her lip and focused her gaze mostly on Deeks. He smiled lightly at her, winked and his eyes broadcasted warmth and confidence. She felt herself getting stronger and more confident and answered the judge's and the lawyers' questions truthfully and after approximately twenty minutes the judge thanked her and she could step back down to Deeks.

His hand automatically found hers and she let out a small sigh, happy to be back with him. Almost one hour later the judge and the lawyers had asked everyone everything they wanted then there was a break between the jury exiting into the jury room where they could review all the facts and discuss what was going to happen with Jack and their return to the courtroom.

"It's going to be okay, Kens." She heard Deeks whisper in her ear and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I hope you're right," she whispered and closed her eyes tiredly. She had barely slept the night before, Jack taunting her in her sleep and the thought of today's hearing on her mind.

They hadn't had to wait that long and soon the jury walked back into the courtroom and everyone sat down. Kensi barely registered everything they said, her mind just focused on one word and when she finally heard the jury's decision she practically screamed with joy.

"Jack Cummings, you have been charged with attempted murder and have been found guilty of the charge. You will spend 15 years in prison without the possibility of parole. Case closed," the judge said, closed a folder on his table and stood up to leave the room.

Kensi could hear Jack's lawyer furiously saying something to his client but she didn't care. Her eyes were wide and she felt her heart beat faster at the final decision. _Fifteen Years. _She felt Deeks squeezing her hand and looked up. He stood before her, a big grin on his face and she couldn't help but laugh at his happy face. She stood up too, wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed his scent in.

"It's over," she whispered after a while and blinked to prevent the-happy-tears from falling out of her eyes.

"Yes." She heard her partner answer and she took her head from his shoulder to look up into his eyes. He was staring at her, the smile still on his face and his hands were grasping her hips, yanking her closer. She let her gaze slip lower for a brief second before her eyes returned up towards his. His expression was intense and before she could change her mind, she covered his mouth with hers in a hungry, much needed kiss. He responded immediately, pressing her even closer so nothing could be between them. Suddenly Kensi realized that they were still in a room full of other, unknown people and pushed herself away from Deeks.

His hand reached up to cup her cheek, his eyes showing desire and love and he whispered, "I love you."

Kensi felt her heart thudding in her chest, not like it had done earlier or on the other occasion he said it or when they had kissed for the first time. This time, she was more nervous than ever because she simply felt like she was ready. Ready to say it back to him. She took a deep breath, lifted her right hand to his cheek and her left to his neck, stroking his blonde strands lovingly.

She smiled up at him and whispered, "I love you."

If it was even possible his smile grew wider and he took her in his arms again, holding her as tightly as he could and hearing her say the words again and again.

"Oh please, get yourselves a room!" Callen said from behind them and made both Kensi and Deeks blush.

Hetty watched her agents with a smile plying around her lips and decided to join the conversation, "Please, Mister Callen, leave those young love birds to what they have to do."

Callen just shrugged, but the smile on his face gave him away. Kensi and Deeks loosened their grip on each other but stayed close together, with him whispering to her a promise he intended to keep for a very long time, "I'll never leave you."

_Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another._

_~Thomas Merton_

_**The End**_

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**Hey guys. I've got something to say and I really hope that you won't be annoyed by the length. Anyways. **

**I wanted to thank all my followers, reviewers, favorites and those who sticked to Valentine's Chili for four months. You made me so happy during this time and I have never ever before had such a regular posting and writing time. Like never. This is my first finished english story that's longer than one chapter and I couldn't have done this without you. **

**I really hope you'll keep the alerts on this because eventually, I'll post another chapter which includes the title and the link to the sequel. I don't know when exactly that will be, but it's gonna be soon :) Maybe even next sunday, I'll see. Just please- stay tuned =) **

**Before I will say goodbye, I want to thank Mike, Cierra and Nadja. You guys really helped me a lot with this ;) **

**That's all I have to say for now. Please leave a review and let me know what you think of this last chapter, which is practically the epilogue... **

**See you soon! *_***

**PA16**


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